Give it a Chance
by swaggie-love69
Summary: This one girl meets this one guy, and this other girl meets this other guy. Soz not Phan
1. Stupid Ass Inrto Crap

**a/n Try to excuse the incorrect spelling in this chapter and future ones. Dan and Phil aren't in this chapter.  
**

"Esme, Esme, are you awake? If you're not than wake up, you lazy bum, I have something important to tell you," someone shouts through the apartment, and I know exactly whom. I open my eyes and groan, what in the actual fuck does that woman want? I look over at the clock on my nightstand, 9 a.m. Seriously Somma, what could be so important you had to wake me up at 9 in the fucking morning for? "Esme, if you don't get your lazy ass out of that bed and come out here so I can share my amazing news, then I'm going to go in there and make you."

I groan again and get out of bed, the last thing I need is Somma waltzing in here blasting kids radio while squirting me with a water gun, and I'm pretty sure that's what she'll do. As I get up I feel the cold air, making me instantly regret it. I look at my bed again, "as much as I want to, and I really want to, I can't. I hope you understand." I turn away and put on some slippers, and of course I make the mistake of looking at again. "No, Esme no, you're stronger than this. You're a strong independent woman who don't need that bed." I laugh at myself and turn towards the door, damn I'm even sadder than I thought I was.

As soon as I close the door, Somma comes running down the hallway. She finally reaches me and starts jumping up and down with the most ridiculous smile on her face. I looked at her like this actually surprised me, which I really don't know why it would. If there's one thing you should know about Somma it's that she is really energetic and happy, all the time, I'm not kidding, it's a bit scary. As soon as she sees my expression she stops, "why aren't you excited? I said I had awesome news!"

"Well I just woke up five minutes ago, because of a certain someone, and I'm barely awake. You seriously can't expect me to be excited." If there's one thing you should know about me it's that I'm pretty much the opposite. Not saying that I'm always sad, but I'm never as happy and energetic as she is. It's just that my emotions are way more subdued than hers. I actually almost started laughing, it was times like these I really noticed our almost half-foot height difference.

She just rolled her eyes at me and started walking towards the living room, "yeah, but this is super-duper, amazingly, spectacular, over the moon and to fucking mars, awesome news." She sat down on the couch as I walked into the kitchen, getting my daily coffee. "I really don't get how you could still be sleeping, you could, and have slept in until 3 in the freaking afternoon. I just don't understand I can't sleep in past 7, I can't it's like my internal alarm clock won't allow it to happen."

I take a sip from the coffee I just made, "that's because you're weird." I walk to the living room and place my cup on the table next to the couch. "So, what's this oh so important news you have for me?"

"Okay, well, get this," she put her hand over her mouth to cover up her excitement, which didn't work at all. She then took both of my hands in hers, "you and I, me and you, Somma and Esme, best friends five ever," her voice was getting higher pitched with every syllable.

"Are you planning on getting to the point soon?" I questioned starting to get impatient.

"We are going to VidCon!" she screamed so loudly I'm pretty sure even in the building could hear her. Then she started jumping up and down and dancing, it looked like some kind of weird ass satanic ritual or something. After she was finished running around the apartment she ran back to where I was, "can you believe it? VidCon! We're going to VidCon?"

I looked at her with a 'what in the actual fuck is wrong with you, are you high you delirious bitch' look. "I don't know what VidCon is."

She stopped and just stared at me with her mouth wide open. I looked around the room awkwardly while she just stared me, I was really tempted to anally fist her. I bet even if I did she wouldn't stop staring.

After five minutes of the most awkward one sided staring contest ever, she finally started to speak. "What in the!? Wha-what?! Like how?! I-I-I my brain does not comprehend. What?!" Well sort of started to speak.

I rolled my eyes and sighed, "dude did you not take your medication today? You're acting weirder than normal." I sat down on the couch and turned on the T.V, "I seriously don't know what you're talking about."

She sat down next to me and put her hands on my shoulders, forcing me to turn towards her. "Look, Esme, I know that a lot has been going on in your life. You have school, and your job. But honey, HOW IN THE FUCKING WORLD CAN YOU NOT KNOW ABOUT VIDCON? I know you're internet illiterate, BUT SERIOUSLY?"

She took her hands off my shoulders and shook her head, "and fyi, I did take my medication today." Then she looked over at the kitchen and got a questioning look on her face, "wait, did I? I'm pretty sure I did." She walked over to the counter and picked up her medicine bottle, "yes I did," she said looking relieved.

Somma than turned her attention back to me, "now back to more important matters. How can you not know? Do you even listen to a word I say? I've been bitching about how I want to go to VidCon this entire summer."

I have a moment of sudden realization, "oh, yeah, I remember you complaining about that." I then starting laughing, "sorry I kinda zone you out when you start getting overly passionate over your weird internet stuff. So what in the actual fuck is VidCon?"

"Uggh you're such a peasant Esme," wait, did that bitch really just call me a peasant, "VidCon is only one of the most magical places on the entire planet." She walked back into the living room, "it's this convention that happen once a year for youtubers, and it's amazing."

"What are youtubers?"

Her eyes popped out of her head, "do you seriously not listen to me, like ever?! Oh my god, you basic bitch. Youtubers are people who make videos on YouTube. And before you ask, it's a website on this thing called the internet."

I rolled my eyes at her yet again, "I know what YouTube is, I'm not that internet unaware. It's the website with the animal and music videos, but I didn't know there were actual people there."

Somma gave me this really exasperated look, I seriously thought she was going to kill me, "dude if you weren't my best friend I would totally kill you." Called it. "Sometimes I seriously can't believe we're been friends this long, like srsly."

Her head popped up and she started dancing again, "omg, dude you can come to VidCon with me and I can teach you all about the fangirl life!"

"Fangirl life?"

"Yup, it's basically the best and most emotionally damaging way to live. It'll be so much fun, maybe afterwards we can make you a Tumblr."

"Uhh… Tumblr?"

"This is going to be amazing!" Somma ran down the hall and came back a minute later with two suitcases, "we can meet a bunch of cool youtubers, like Smosh, nigahiga, JennaMarbles, Hank and John, Dan and Phil….the list is endless. I love them all, but I'm most excited to meet Dan, cause like Dan? More like damn son I want a piece of that. Now I ship you more with Phil cause…"

"Somma! First I have absolutely no idea what you're talking about. Second I haven't even said if I Want to go or not."

She actually stopped talking and looked at me, yeah I'm surprised too. "Well yeah but, you have to go, we can't have a super awesome ultra-spectacular best friend trip if you don't go. Besides, you don't have anything better to do."

"We both have jobs we can't just take off a few days of, we need every penny we can get. Even though you already graduated, I'm still in school. And University starts again in two weeks and I still have a metric shit ton of work to do. I don't even know when or where this is, and for how long."

"It's tomorrow, well technically it's Thursday, but the plane's leaving tomorrow. It's in Anaheim, California, and we're going to be there for about five days."

"You already bought plane tickets? How the fuck can you even afford two tickets for California. And we don't have enough money for a hotel room for five days. Plus the problem of returning, we don't enough money for two tickets back here, we're literally traveling to the other end of the fucking country. How the fuck did you afford tickets to this convention in the first place?"

"Dude calm down, you know bazillionare Joe that owns the coffee shop right outside of campus, right?" I nodded, "well he was apparently going to take his daughter to VidCon for her birthday, but now I guess they're going to Disney World instead. So he decided to give me the tickets cause his daughter and I are home dogs like that. He got the really super awesome tickets, so we'll actually be staying at the same hotel that the youtubers are. And he also gave me their plane tickets, which is why we're leaving tomorrow and staying for five days."

"Wow, well that was really nice of him," I said in complete disbelief.

"I know right, I offered to actually pay for it, but when I tried he just said, 'nah man, that's cool I got money to spare. They call me bazillionare Joe for a reason, I'm swimming in cash.'"

We both laughed for a few minutes, "so, what do you say? We can work overtime for a few days to make up for the time we missed and you may be a little behind in University work. Now that I'm out of school I can work more hours, and maybe even help you with school work. But you and I both know you need a break, you're always so stressed, relax a bit. I promise you'll have a great time, just give it a chance."

I looked into her eyes, "I-I just don't know. California is pretty far away, at least farther than I've ever been. And I don't even know what in the actual fuck youtubers are, so I don't think going to a convention will really be my thing. And school and work, I just really don't know man."

Before Somma could say anything back to me an alarm on both of our phones went off, it was time to go to work. We, and by we I mean just me, got dressed, and we ate our super healthy breakfast of stale granola bars. Then we walked out of the apartment.

The car ride was in complete silence, I was still trying to process what just happened. My insane best friend woke me up at 9 in the freaking morning to ask me to go to some internet convention, which I knew nothing about, with her across the country for 5 days abandoning all our responsibilities. Yup that about sums it up.

We park the car and walk into work. Somma gets her time card and slides it through the machine, while I wait in line behind her. Soon she's done and I swipe my own card, I walk over to my desk, turn my computer on, cause I'm just that hot. Minutes later Somma stands before me with a flash drive, "the article's under the Thursday document." She turns around to leave but turns back, "can you at least think about it?"

I sigh, if there's one thing I've learned about Somma through our years of friendship it's that she doesn't give up. I start editing her article as I usually thinking about nothing, sorry Somma.

This is a pretty ok job. The pays' not that great, but it's good enough. Well not really, but I don't want to talk about that right now. Actually, it's pretty fun, probably more exciting than most jobs college kids have.

And the people here are really nice. Except for two, John, the vice president, and Beatrice an editor, they're basically Satan. Everyone calls them Hitler and Stalin, even though one of them is a girl, but barely.

I was almost finished with Thursdays paper, all I need was the pictures. "Hey Esme," I hear a familiar voice from the other side of my screen, perfect timing.

I look up from my computer and smile, "hey Tom, how have you been?"

He returns a smile, "I've been good, a little stressed, but I'm fine. So, what have you been up to?

"Nothing much, school, work, same as always" I look at his hands, they're holding just what I need. "So, you got some smexy amazing pictures for me?"

He laughed a bit, "yes I do." He gives me the flash drive containing the pictures, and I load them onto my computer. Once they're on there I give him his flash drive back.

"Thank you," I start to edit them into the paper, it shouldn't take too long. Pictures were way easier to edit than articles, especially if you did them last. Plus I've been working here for about four years, so it's basically second nature.

"So, umm, I was thinking, uhh," Tom l looked at the floor and moved his hands nervously, "maybe tomorrow we can, uhh, hang out or something, like together, you and me. Um, if you want to."

Awww, he was so sweet, "I'm sorry, but I'll be in California tomorrow. Somma's weird ass decided to drag me out there for this convention she's obsessed with."

"Oh, well, how about when you get back?"

"When we get back I have to do a crap ton of work for university, and a week after we're back I have to go back to school. I just don't have the time, I'm really sorry."

"Um yeah, of course, it's no problem," he said while getting his time card sliding it across the machine, "I understand. Well, um, I gotta go, I'll see you later then." He walked out of the building without saying another word.

Damn I actually felt bad, I really don't turn down guys that often. Of course guys don't ask me out that often, and my not that often I mean practically never. Actually, I've had only ever had one boyfriend, in my entire 24 years of existence, yeah I know. My love life is its own tragedy. I dated that one guy for four years, we may still be together if he didn't leave. But that was three years ago, and guess who hasn't dated since. P.s. if you guessed me you're right. Well that's not true, I did go on a date about a year ago, and it didn't go too well.

It's a shame that I had to say no, Tom is a really nice guy. But I didn't want to say yes, I couldn't say yes. But like I said, I really don't have enough time for a relationship. Right now all of my focus is in my schoolwork, and my job so I can afford school. A relationship is seriously one of the last things I'm looking for right now. Just a few more years and I'll be done with school. Even when I finish school I probably still won't want to be with someone.

It's not that I don't believe in love, I do. I know a lot of people that are in love, and they're pretty freakin happy. I myself have been in love before, and I'll admit it was pretty awesome. But now I've just come to terms that I'm to grow up and become a crazy cat lady that yells at children, I can't wait.

I'm almost done editing the paper, whore-fucking-ray. I'm actually kinda shocked Tom asked me out. I mean only one other guy has done so before, you can't really expect me to not to be shocked. I don't know why, but for some reason guys just don't like me, and not just guys, people in general. It doesn't really bother me, I've gotten used to it. I've only had one best friend, and she's pretty much the opposite of me, like srsly we are not alike at all. Somma loves people, and people love her too. Me not so much.

And damn let me tell you, that bitch is pimpin. I mean Somma has guys, and some girls, asking her out left to right. I actually find it funny, like this one valentine's day, she got 27 roses from different guys. Somma's actually only ever dated three guys. I mean she has little 'things' from time to time with different people, but nothing that's actually a relationship. While I'm over here bitching about my love life, Somma hasn't had it easy either, actually most people haven't. Ugh, why does love have to be such a bitch?

I was thrown away from my thoughts when I saw something me. Speak of the devil, I see Somma's bright blonde hair with pink streaks run through the office, stopping at my desk. "Yo yo Esme, my home dizzle, wazzup?" she struck a pose and gang symbols.

I laughed and rolled my eyes at her, "nothing much fo rizzle ma shizzle."

She smiles and hands me a flash drive, "here's Fridays article, guess what document it's under. That's right Saturday." She started laughing as if she made some super amazing hilarious joke. I actually started laughing too, not really at her joke but from the people in the office staring at her.

"So I saw Tom visit your area today, and I wasn't eavesdropping, but I may have overheard a bit of your conversation." Of course she did, all I was waiting for now was 'why did you say no' type of thing. "What in the actual fuck of all things from banana bread to Sesame Street, possessed you to say no?" There it was.

"Look Somma, with school and work I really don't have time for dating."

She just rolled her eyes at me, "every time I try to get you to ask someone out or set you up, it's always that excuse. I work at the same place as you do, and I used to go to the same school, and I would date guys." She stopped for a moment and thought, "are you still not over Derek? I know he was you first love, and I know that was really hard on you. But it was three years ago Esme, you need to move on. You can't be alone forever"

"Why not? I think that's a totally feasible plan." I load the article on my computer and start to edit. "I know you're just trying to be a good friend, but I'm really not interested in dating, not now, not ever. Love just isn't for me."

"I'm not trying to be a good friend, I'm trying to be your best friend. You can't keep using school and work as excuse to not date people. And I know once you're out of school you'll make up a new one. I know you were in love once, and I know you miss the feeling, as much as you try to deny it. You're not going to get through whatever is stopping you from being in love if you don't keep pushing it away and not even trying."

"Yeah uh-hu," I said editing the paper, disregarding everything she just told me.

Somma sighed loudly, "fine, if you don't want to talk about that, lets trade topics. While I was not eavesdropping on you conversation I noticed you mention a little trip to California because 'Somma's weird ass decided to drag me out there for this convention she's obsessed with.'" She said using air quotes for the last part.

Dammit if there one thing I didn't want to hear it was definitely that. Why did I even have to bring that up, I knew Somma would hear it. "Well I was just looking for an excuse, I didn't actually mean it."

"Mmhhm," Somma put her hand on her hip and gave a duck face, "whether you meant it or not, you still said it. I'm totally using this against you and saying you have now agreed to go with me."

Before I could say anything else, stupid freaking Hitler had interrupt us. "Ms. Anemar and Ms. Vionity, you two are paid to work here and make a newspaper not waste time with your little chit chats. I will inform you once again that I am the vice president of this business and unless you two stop this diddle daddle I will see to it that you are fired." I had to keep myself from laughing because Somma was doing what appeared to be sacrificial dance behind him.

As Somma and I got back to work, something he said really struck me. Something really serious and important. Something that could have a pretty big impact on my life. He mentioned he was vice president and could fire me…which means one more time and I lose the bet. Dammit I was pretty I was going to win this one, and then I'll actually owe Somma money. I mean I'll win money from some other people, but still I lost to Somma.

You may be wondering how we can afford all of this, university, and apartment, a car, food, and clothes. Most college kids can't afford it, I mean our job does pay more than your average college job, but not enough. Sometimes we babysit, but that really doesn't get us anything. We don't have time for a second job. School, studying for school, homework for school, research for school, take up a lot of time. And we work here for six to eight hours, depending on the day, six days a week. Maybe now with Somma out of school we can actually afford all of this.

So back to the topics of how, it's two simple words, dildo manufacturers. No, it's actually my parents. See my family is rich, as in really rich, they make bazillionare Joe look poor. My great grandfather did this one thing and now my family is pimpin' in the dough. Not to mention everyone in is successful. My parents are both doctors, my older brother is a lawyer, my older sister just got a PhD and graduated valedictorian of her class, and my younger brother just finished his first year at Harvard with honors.

What should you take from that? That I'm pretty much the fail of the family. But of course they're too nice to tell me that. Not many people know that my family's rich, and by not many people I mean basically no one. Because let's face it, once people know they treat you differently.

So yeah, I've been sneaking my parents money past Somma, I feel really bad, but if I didn't we could not afford this. I've wanted to tell Somma, I really have. I know if there's one person that won't think of me differently it's her. But no matter how hard I try I can't.

Especially because I know about her family finances. Her father left when she was young, and her mother could barely afford to keep them alive. They moved to Virginia from Ohio when she was 14. Her mom is an artist, painting and sketching beautiful work. It was a miracle she made it through highschool and afford college. And by miracle I mean I once again snuck money them. Does this make me a good or a bad person?

I feel mostly bad because she opened up to me when I couldn't open up to her. She's my friend, I've known her for eleven years, I should be able to tell her. But I can't, I don't know if you this by now but I may have some unresolved issues in my life. There's another difference between us, she so open to people, and I'm so... not.

I finish editing my part of Fridays paper, and Saturdays, and Sundays. Yay, guess I was on super speed because of the whole California thing. Ugh, did I really agree to that? Well the answers no, I didn't. I guess it would be fun, but still, I don't even know anymore. All I ate today was a granola bar and I've been staring at this computer screen for the past eight hours. It was time to go home.

I was snapped out of my thinking as Stalin appeared at my desk. "Ms. Anemar, whatever you're thinking about it better be important. Oh who am I kidding of course it's not, you're way too young to have actual thoughts. We have a paper to run and you sitting here thinking about nonsense isn't helping."

Da fuck, too young to have actual thoughts, three year old have thoughts, and I'm twenty-one years older than them, so yeah I think I qualify to be considered 'having actual thoughts'. God woman you irritate me, you're ten years older than me and have the exact same job. Now who's the one not 'having actual thoughts'. She's just lucky she doesn't have to pay for school, or children, cause that bitch would be broke. I just stare at her and reply, "yeah uh-hu."

Stalin rolled her eyes at me, "god I've had enough of your sass, I can't believe you haven't been fired yet. You and everyone else that works here, none of you can get anything done. Especially you and Ms. Vionity, I'm the one that does anything around here."

She and Hitler are the only people that call everyone by their last name, even the president calls me Esme. And seriously the only one that does anything? I know for a fact that Stalin only has Thurdays paper done, and who has more than that, oh yeah it's me. And seriously my sass? If you think I'm sassy, then bitch you clearly don't know what sassy is. Of course being me I don't say any of this.

As if my day couldn't get any more fabulous, Hitler's bitchy ass and his 12 o' clock sass decide to show up to the party. Great know I'm with Stalin and Hitler, if I have to be here for much longer they won't be the only people here that have committed genocide. Luckily for me Somma comes to my rescue.

"You ready to go Esme?"

"Oh yeah I am," I shut my computer down and stand next to her, getting my things.

As we start getting our time cards, Hitler speaks up. "Ahem, where do you think you're going Ms. Vionity, Ms. Anemar?"

"Uh, we're going home," I said as gave him my 'are you mentally deficient' look.

"Your shift ends at exactly six o clock; it is four fifty-nine and fifty-three seconds."

Oh my god, are you fucking kidding me, I thought but still didn't say. Luckily Somma said it for me.

"No I am not, 'fucking kidding you,'" he used air quotes as he said that. "It clearly states in the employee handbook that that type of language is not allowed. May I remind you that I'm the vice president of this company, which means I may very well have you fired for leaving when you're not supposed to, using inappropriate language, and being disrespectful to authority? And call me sir"

"No you may not remind us," Somma said while looking directly into his eyes, "sir."

Everyone in the office was silent. Hitler looked like he was about to do what Hitler did best, invade Poland, no he was about to kill her. Would the actual Hitler kill her, I mean Somma wasn't Jewish, and she did have blonde hair, but she had brown eyes too. I'm pretty sure Hitler would kill me, I didn't have blonde hair or blue eyes. Wow, my mind was more fucked up than I thought. Suddenly we heard the clock chime, 6:00, bitches.

Somma and I looked at each other, then looked at Hitler, "goodbye sir," we said in unison. As we walked out of the building Somma turned around and looked at Stalin, "and you too, sir."

We left, and as soon as we were out we started laughing. "Did you the look on his face? That has got to be the highlight of my life."

"I know right, that was amazing. I'm so glad I have you to dish out the shit I wish I could." We were still laughing on our way home talking about various things. "Also the 'and to you too, sir' was a nice touch."

"Yeah I'm pretty proud of that."

Soon we were in our apartment, just sitting down watching T.V. I started thinking about the whole California thing again. If I don't go then I can't show up to work anyway, Tom might be there. And it'll be almost an entire week away from Hitler and Stalin.

"Hey Somma?"

"Yeah?"

"I've decided that I will go to VidCon with you."

She bolts up from the couch, "are you for reals?!"

"For rizzles," I laugh at her. She ran straight to me and hugged really, really, tightly. For someone so short, she was really strong. "S-s-so-Somma, I-I can't, need oxygen."

She laughed while putting me down, "sorry, I forgot what a delicate little flower you are."

"Yeah and I forgot what a five-foot-one, 105 pound, WWE champion you are."

We started packing, and about ten minutes later I was almost done, I pack light. Somma on the other hand has pretty much pack her entire room. I was finishing putting stuff away when my bedroom door suddenly opened. "Don't you think I forgot Esme."

"Forgot what," I say trying to play innocent. I really hope she's not talking about what I think she is.

"Don't play innocent with me Ms. Anemar, for I am the vice president," dammit she was talking about what I thought she was. "2 times today, 109 in the past 2 weeks, that's $50, pay up."

I was flying, soaring in the sky. Now I'm in the ocean, the waves rocking back and forth. They're getting stronger and stronger, I try to get some control over them, but it's no use. The clouds in the sky start to move apart, there's something glowing. It speaks to me, "Esme," it booms through the air, "Esme". It's calling to me. Is it…no it can't be…but what if it is?

"Jesus?"

"I know I'm pretty much a saint, but I don't know if I would go that far," I open my eyes to see Somma standing on my bed. Of course.

I look over at my clock, 3 a.m. "Why?"

"Because we're going to VidCon silly," she replies as she jumps on my bed, "we need to get up early if we want to catch our plane." She back flipped off my bed and stuck the landing, fun fact, Somma used to do gymnastics. "So get up, you have about half an hour."

I stay in bed for a few minutes and contemplate jumping through the window, but I get up once I realize we're on the 9th floor and I'd probably die. I take a shower and do some last minute packing. Then I go into the kitchen and eat a healthy breakfast, ramen noodles and soda.

I walk into Somma's room and see her on the phone with someone. "Well, I'm going to be in California for five days…I don't know…yeah, okay."

I couldn't hear who was on the other end, but I didn't have to. I guess we're not going after all. I feel relieved, but also disappointed. It did seem like fun, and Somma got me all hyped up. "So, what now?"

She turns around and faces me, "now, we need to leave before we miss the plane."

"We're still going?"

"Of course we're still going, I've been wanting to go for months."

"But what about…"

"All taken care of," she said smiling as she left the room. We got our suitcases and Somma opened the front door, "vamos."

The drive to the airport wasn't that bad, and going the security was pretty quick as well. Somma and I are now sitting at the gate, waiting. "What time is it?"

"Summer time, anticipation," Somma started singing, not looking up from her phone. I was so done with her shit. "It's 5:45."

"When do we board?"

"6:05."

"Uggh," I whined, patience is not one of strengths. I looked around the gate, everyone was either on their phone or reading. Of course I would be the only that didn't bring or book and forget to charge their phone. I heard Somma laughing next to me.

"What's so funny?"

She looked up at me, "I saw something funny on Tumblr." She laughed again, "so gonna reblog that." Tumblr, she mentions that a lot, I'm guessing it's another website she's addicted to.

"While we have internet, I might as well show you some of the people we may see at VidCon." Somma typed into her phone, "here's Smosh," she showed me a picture.

"Aren't they the guys that did the Pokémon video thing?" I think I've seen them before in one of those.

"Pokémon video thing? Aren't you supposed the one going for a PhD?"

"Yeah, in physics and engineering."

That's what we did to pass time, try to educate me in the ways of the internet. And we failed. Somma was now typing a new name into her phone, "this is danisnotonfire and AmazingPhil."

Before she could show me a voice started talking from above, and as I learned from this morning it's not Jesus. "We will now be boarding flight 746 to Los Angeles California."

Somma and I stood up and stood in line, now I was really feeling nervous. Somma must have been able to tell, "hey, it's going to be okay. You'll be fine."

"I looked at the website, thousands of people. And they're all strangers, you know how I get when I'm around a lot of strangers."

"Esme relax, the more you stress out about the worse it will be. Just calm down and don't even think about it. This is just two friends going on an epic vacation together."

We handed the lady our tickets and got on the plane. I've calmed down a little bit, I wasn't even thinking about one solid topic. It changed from butter, to the stars, to board games. The flight attendants came around and made everything was ready for takeoff.

After a few minutes the plane started moving. The captain's voice came on the speakers, "We are now leaving for Los Angeles."

**This is my first story, sorry if it's crappy  
**


	2. I Believe a Meeting's in Order

I woke up and stretched my arms, I hope it's earlier than noon. If a get up later than 12, I feel as if over half my day was wasted. I look at the clock on my left, it was 10. Yes, mission successful, I looked to my right. Oh my god, bright light, abort, abort. I feel like I've just been blinded. This felt even more blinding than the time I walked in on… no Phil, don't go there.

I sat up on my bed and turned on the T.V., I watch an episode of Adventure Time, unfortunately not one with Lemon Grab. Now that my eyes have had time to adjust, I look outside again. It looked like a really nice day, so sunny and warm. I got up and took a shower, I put on some shorts and a t-shirt.

As I exit the bathroom I look at the other bed in the room, with Dan still asleep on it. I let out a laugh, man that guy could sleep. I'm actually surprised I'm even up, we got to the hotel at about 2 a.m. after an 11 hour flight from London. That was fun. But it was well worth it to be here and be able to meet my fans.

I open the door to the balcony and walk outside. If there's one thing I love about California, it's the weather. It's so warm and sunny, and I really love the light breeze that hits my face that keeps me from melting. I love England, but when it comes to weather, this kicks England's ass.

In all honesty I'm actually a little nervous about tomorrow. Today was the day before the convention, so I could relax for now. But tomorrow Dan and I have a signing, and Thursday we actually have to go on stage. I love my fans more than anything, but there's going to thousands of them, I can't help but get a little anxious.

One year at Playlist Live I did the entire stage performance with my fly undone. I know what you're thinking, and yes, I am professional, male stripper. I probably don't have the grace to be a male stripper. I wonder how much they get paid, I guess it depends on the customers. Why am I even thinking about this? I guess if YouTube and the radio fail, I have a backup plan. My mother would be so proud.

I listen to the sounds of the city below me. The cars commuting, the people talking, the birds in the air, the machines…machining. A lot of people find the sounds annoying, but they actually help me relax. I find this so nice, the weather, the noises, it was so peaceful. I could just fall asleep.

_I was in a white room, there was no sound, and there was no escape. I looked at every inch of the room, I didn't see any windows or doors. I walked for a while, it seemed to never end. Suddenly in the middle of the room a figure appeared out of nowhere. I couldn't recognize what it was, but as I got closer I could. It was Dan. He was turned away from me, so I tapped on his shoulder to get his attention. _

"_Hey Dan, this is weird place isn't it. Do you know where we are?"_

"_Hello Phil," he said in cool and calm voice. "Yes, I do know where we are. So do you." He looked me up and down. "Does it bother you Phil?"_

_I looked at him with a confused expression, what was he talking about. I'm pretty sure this isn't Dan. "What do you mean? Who are you?"_

_He just smiled at me, "who am I? I'm you're friend Dan of course." He looked me in the eye, "does it bother you that I'm more successful than you are? That I'm younger than you and get more recognition. That I've been doing YouTube for half the time you have and have almost twice the amount of subscribers. Does it bother you Phil?"_

_Now I know this isn't Dan, "who are you?" I stepped back, but he just moved forward. "What do you want?"_

"_Don't you see it Phil, I'm you," the figure changed. Now instead of Dan in front of me I was looking at myself. "I'm part of your mind Phil. I'm the part you don't show to people. Are you ashamed of me Phil, or are you scared? Are you scared of what I can do to you, how your thoughts can consume you?"_

_He walked around me, circling me, eyeing me up and down. "As much as you try to deny it or ignore me, I'm always here. As much you try to say you're happy for him, I know that's not entirely true. You're jealous of Dan. I mean it's only natural. He's more successful than you are, has more fans than you do, he's better looking than you, he even stole your girlfriend from you." _

_I run away, I need to get away from this thing. I stop running after a while, catching my breath, I look up and he's there._

"_You can't escape me Phil, I'm a part of you. I'm here to show you who you really are. While we're on the subject of girlfriends, didn't another one cheat on you?" He started walking around me again, "ouch, that must hurt, losing to two different guys. Not only are you second to Dan, but you're just second in general." _

"_Stop," I yell, I can't take this anymore._

"_You're 26 and can't get a girl to date you. People your age are engaged, married, and some even have kids. Yet you're all alone."_

"_Stop, please, I'm begging you," I fall to my knees._

"_I'm just pointing out the truth. The truth you keep avoiding, you can't keep running away from me Phil."_

"_I can try," I get up and start running. I run as fast as I can, I try to escape the room, but it's no use. I suddenly hit something and fall, I look up to once again see myself. It's looking at me, taunting me. _

_I try to attack it, but it's unphased. "You can't hurt me Phil. I'll always be here."_

_The figure change again, it's entirely solid black. It grows larger, and larger. It surrounds me, I look up and I see black, I look down and I see black, I look to the right and it's black, the left is black. I run, I know it's no use, but I run. The white room is black, there's no end. I fall and lie down, I'm stuck here._

_I hear it speaking, the voice is everywhere. It starts chanting my name, getting louder and louder. The noise is deafening. The earth starts to shake, I'm being rocked back and forth and all I hear is "Phil, Phil, Phil." Over and over again. Everything turns white. _

"Phil, Phil wake the fuck up," Dan's hand is on my shoulder, shaking me. "Bloody mother fucking hell, I've been trying to get you up for a solid fifteen minutes. Waking you up is more difficult than setting my placenta on fire." Dan walks back into the hotel and starts sorting out his hair. "Get up, I think we should have a look around the convention and see if we can find some people to hang around."

I look around, I see the streets below with people walking and cars driving, Dan's in the room sorting out his hair. I feel the warm weather, hear the sounds of the city, I touch my arm. For extra measures I pinch myself, "ouch." I sigh in relief, it was only a dream.

"Come on Phil, it's almost noon. If you don't want to waste any more of you day I suggest you get you tits up and walk around with me."

I walk into the room, "Yeah that seems fun, it should only take a few minutes for me get ready." I look into the mirror and sort out my hair. I get my shoes on and pace for a bit. I look at Dan, he's on his computer. I look back at my reflection. After that dream, I don't even know who I am any more.

Seriously, what in the actual fuck was that dream? It honestly scared me, is that really me? Am I really jealous of Dan? I guess sometimes I have jealous tendencies, but it's not anything like it was in that dream. Dan's my best friend, I'm happy for him, he deserves his success. But I have been making YouTube videos for way longer than he has. No Phil, don't let yourself go there.

What about the other things he, I, said. I mean pretty much all of my friends are dating someone, some of them are even married, with kids. I'm 26, I'm getting to the age where most people have families. What if end up alone? Everyone leaves me in the end, for one reason or another. Why do I even try?

No, you can't think like this Phil. That's exactly what he wants. Damn, he was right, I do have these thoughts. Maybe I should I talk to someone about it, I mean Dan is right here. Maybe if I do, I won't have another one of those dreams. I look over at Dan, he's just mindlessly scrolling on his computer, unaware of my thoughts. I don't want to bother him, he seems so at peace.

Dan looks up from his laptop, "hey, you ready to go?"

I snap out of my thoughts, "yeah, I'm ready."

He turns off his computer and gets up. I'm still pondering whether I should tell him or not. Dan walks past me and opens the door, then he turns around and looks me in the eye. "Dude, are you okay? You seem a little off."

"Um, yeah I'm fine…just thinking about stuff, you know birds and what not."

"Birds?" Dan gives me the 'dude what the fuck, I know you're lying to me you bitch' look.

"Yeah birds, they're fascinating creatures. You've got Robins, and Blue Jays, Cardinals, Ravens, Eagles, Hawks. Birds are so cool I think I might take up Ornithology." I smile at an attempt to look natural, but I probably just look like a deranged cereal killer. Damn you frosted flakes.

"Mmhhmm," Dan shakes his head, "right, well if you want to talk about, I'm always here to listen."

I sigh in relief. Wow, so much for talking about it, I'm such a coward. Dan and I walk down the hall and take the elevator down to the lobby. The lobby was pretty much empty, "where the dicks is everyone? I know it technically doesn't start until tomorrow, but there's seriously nobody here."

"Maybe they're at the convention center," I offer, "that is where the main things are held. Why not walk over there?" Dan sighs being as lazy as he is, and we start walking. The walks pretty uneventful, just Dan and I talking about random stuff. I know he still wonders what I was bothering me earlier, but I just couldn't tell him. Now we're talking about a very important and highly educational topic.

"I think I heard somewhere that China makes the most dildos."*

"Omg, is that danisnotonfire!" Dan and I turned out heads to see three girls running towards us. "Omg it's him, it's really him."

"Hey," Dan laughed nervously, "how are you guys?"

A second girl speaks up, "we're great now that we've met you. I love you're videos, you're so awesome and funny." Dan thanks them and hugs them all awkwardly, then he gives them all autographs. I just stand there, trying not to be too awkward.

"Hey," the third girl walks up to me, "can you get a picture of us with Dan?"

"Sure," they all stand beside Dan as I look through the camera. "Okay everyone, 1, 2, 3, say crackers," I snap the picture and give the girl back her camera. They thank us and walk away, giggling.

"Well that was interesting," Dan laughed as we continues out way to the center. I just laugh and smile, trying not to be awkward. That was seriously the last thing I needed right now. Dan noticed my uncomfortableness, "are you alright? I'm sure those girls just haven't heard of you yet. Which is a shame cause you are the AmazingPhil, but I'm sure once they do, they'll love you more than they love me."

"Thanks, but I kinda doubt that." Maybe now I should tell him, I mean he does sort of already know. I look aver him and see him smiling at me and I offer a smile back. I feel like such a bad friend, so what if he's more famous than I am? He's my best friend and a great person, I should just be happy for him.

What kind of person am I? I'm getting jealous over the fact that my best friend has more fans than I do. I'm lucky that I even have fans. I love my fans, more than anything, they're the reason I'm here. I feel like I'm just taking them for granted. What is wrong with me?

Dan and I just walk in an awkward silence for a few minutes, both of us thinking about different things. "Hey, how about we have a race? First one to the convention center wins," Dan challenged me.

"Oh you're on," I accepted, "ready, set, go." And we were off, running towards the convention center as fast as we could. Dan and I were running side by side in the empty hallway, both of going full speed.

Then we ran into a new room, a room full of people. So this where everyone was at. Dan and I were still racing, this couldn't end well. I slowed down a little, not wanting to run into anyone. Dan was in front of me, still running. "Dan I think we should end the race," I yell running after him, "there are way more people in this room and we could run into someone."

"You just want to stop because you're losing," Dan said going even faster. I couldn't even see him anymore. I start running after him, bumping into people and saying sorry along the way. I heard people calling my name, asking for autographs and pictures. I had to say no and apologize, I needed to catch up to Dan.

A voice booms from the speakers, "there will be panel at the convention center in a minute, snacks are provided."

Voices from all over the room said the same thing, "free food? Did they just mention free food? I'll go, I like food." And with that everyone joined me in a run to the convention center. People were moving so fast out of the room that I decided to run faster as well.

I was running as fast as I could. Then suddenly appearing in front of me was a girl, and I couldn't stop myself before I ran into her. She looked up at me like a deer in the headlights, her green eyes looking into mine. We made eye contact for a brief second, right before I collided into her.

I open my eyes and notice that I'm on the floor. What just happened, why am I on the floor? I feel something soft under me and my eyes widen in realization. The girl, I fell on her after we collided. I quickly roll myself off of her and get up.

I shake her body, "are you awake?" Nothing. I try again, still nothing. I look around, there's no one in the room. "Help," I yell, I get no response. "Help, please, there's an unconscious girl and I don't know what to do. Please someone help me," I still get no response.

I start to panic, there's no one around, no one can hear me, and my phone doesn't work in the states. I can't just leave her here while I look for help, and I can't just drag her body with me. Panic starts to set in, I pace around the room thinking of something I can do.

Why? Why did this happen? God Phil you're such an idiot. You ran into this girl and knocked her unconscious. When she wakes up she'll kill you. What if she doesn't wake up? No, you can't think like that. She has to wake up, she has to.

I move her body to the wall and sit beside her. Every few second I shake her or call for help. I can't stop remembering her eyes before I ran into to her, they were full of fear and panic. I looked at her again, she was so pretty. I don't think I've ever seen a more beautiful woman in my life.

I hear noise and see movement from her body. She's awake! Oh my god, thank you Jesus. She sits up and puts her hand to her head, obviously confused. She turns her head and looks at me, she's even more beautiful than I thought.

We just kind of stare at each other for a while. Like an unspoken staring contest, just studying each other. She turns her head and eyes me up and down, "what going on? Where's Somma?" She stands up, "who are you?"

I stand up too, "I'm Phil," I greet her with a smile. "Who's Somma? Isn't that the name of a drug? And I accidently ran into you and knock you down," I put my hand behind my head and shift around nervously, "sorry about that."

"Hello Phil, I'm Esme," she shook my hand and smiled at me. I smiled back, she has pretty smile. I like her name, it sounds really nice, especially when she says it. "Somma is my best friend, she's the reason I'm at this convention actually. And yes, it is the name of a drug, but they're spelled differently."

"What do you mean she's the reason you're at the convention?"

"Well, I'm pretty much a noob at the internet, and Somma's like the internet master. This guy handed her 2 tickets to this convention and I somehow ended up going with her."

"Hm," I tilted my head back, "I see. So you don't know much about the YouTube community do you?"

"Not much? Try pretty much nothing at all. Somma tried to teach me, she taught me about Smash who I'm pretty sure did the Pokémon thing, an Asian dude that enjoys this 'teehee' thing, a blonde girl that likes marbles, this kid Dan that's apparently on fire which I don't understand at all, and um, AwesomePhil, I think."

I couldn't help but laugh, oh my god, what even. I knew who she was talking about and that made it even more hilarious. I felt bad for laughing at her, but it was too funny not to laugh. I felt proud that her friend brought me up, this means Esme knows about my YouTube. Well sort of, she got part of my name wrong, and she doesn't really know that it's me.

"Oh no, you're laughing," she covered face in embarrassment, "was it really that bad?"

"No… well yes, but it was a very good effort," I said in a sad attempt to make her feel better.

"Oh my god, I'm such a fail," she looked at me through her hands. "I take it that you know a lot about this YouTube business."

"Yeah, I know quite a bit," I don't want to reveal that I'm actually one of them yet. If I do she might want my username and I'll have to tell her that she was wrong about it. I think she's had enough embarrassment for one day. "Sorry again for running into you."

She put her hands down, "Don't worry about it, it's a thing of the past. Besides if you didn't I wouldn't be here talking to you."

I smiled widely, "well thank you for being so forgiving and not killing me. Wow, you're nice and pretty." Fuck, did I just say that out loud, the best I can do is hope she didn't notice. Wow Phil, you're so smooth.

Her cheeks turned red, "thanks, I could say the same about you." Wait, was that a compliment? Did she really give me a compliment? Now I could feel my cheeks turning red. She looked around the room, "so why are we the only ones here?"

"Everyone else went to the convention center because of the free food," I replied.

"Free food?! Well no wonder, food is only the 8th wonder of the world."

I had to laugh, seeing her get excited got me excited too. "Well we could go get some, maybe we'll even find your friend when where there."

With that Esme and I made our way to the convention center. We talked about random things and got to know each other better. Talking to her was so easy, I felt like I had known her for years.

"Are you serious?!" she said in disbelief.

"Yup, 100%, I used to watch my teddy bears drown in the washing machine for an hour. And I would also watch my parents sleep. I was pretty much the reason they stopped having kids." I started laughing at my demonic ways as a child.

"Wow, I don't think I ever did anything that weird," she put her hand on her chin and thought. "My mom used to get mad at me for burning my Barbie dolls, but most girls do that."

"What?! Are you serious, most little girls burn their Barbies?" Now I was the one in disbelief, I definitely was learning a lot today. From dildo making to burning Barbies.

"Pretty sure, at least the ones I knew did."

"Have you ever been jealous of a friend, you know you shouldn't be, but you are?" I can't believe I just asked her that. I mean, I just met this girl, was I really going to talk to her about my problem with Dan when I couldn't even tell Dan about it?

"Sometimes I have been," Esme put her hand to her face as she was thinking, "for example, my best friend Somma is pretty much everything I'm not. We have somethings in common, but we're basically opposites. She's so happy, care free, confident, open with people, out going, and she speaks her mind and does what she wants without caring what other people think. While I'm always worrying over my responsibilities of school and work, I lack lack confidence, I have troubles opening up to people, I can't say or do what I want because I'm to scared about what other people think, and I'm shy as crap. Sometimes I wish I could be more like her, everyone likes her more than me."

She turns towards me, "I'm actually shocked I just said all of that to you. I'm shocked I'm even talking to you. I'm usually really shy and closed, which is probably why people don't really like me, bit it's somehow easy for me to talk to you." She starts laughing and trys to cover it up, but fails pretty hard. "Sorry for laughing, I just find this so weird. I just met you and I'm already more open to you than people I've known for years. Sorry if I'm creeping you out, but I feel like I've known for a long time."

"You don't have to be sorry, I feel the exact same way. I feel like I've known you for years, even though it's only been about an hour." I thought about what she just said, "some people are just different than others. You and your friend seem to have two completely different personalities, and it's pretty difficult to change your personality. But if you really want to be more like her, than talk to her about how she's so happy and carefree or whatever. And the whole being able to do and say what you want, that'll get easier as you get more confident, which I can help you with, if you want. Believe it or not, there are people in the world that like your type of personality better, you just haven't met them yet. I for one thing you're pretty awesome, just the way you are."

She smiled, 'thank you Phil, that makes me feel a bit better."

"No problem," I smile back at her. I ponder telling her about Dan and my dream, I barely know her, I don't just want to dump my problems on her. "My best friend Dan and I have a radio show together," so much for not dumping my problems on her, "but he gets way more recognition than I do and people like him way more than they like me." I decided not to bring up YouTube because she doesn't know much about it. "I know I shouldn't be jealous of him, he's my best friend and I should be happy for his success. And I know I should be glad I get any recognition at all. But I can't help it. I usually don't ever get jealous, but this morning I had a really weird dream. The dream brought up all this jealousy I didn't realize I had until today. I just don't know what to do?"

"Have you tried talking to him about it?" Esme asked.

"No, I thought about it, but I couldn't bring myself to do it."

"Well I think you should talk to him about it. It may be difficult to say, I probably couldn't do it, but you're braver than I am. I think it's natural to be a little jealous of your friend, but these thoughts won't stop unless you talk to him about it. I'm not saying once you talk to him all of your jealousy will go away, but it should help, at least a little. I haven't met you friend, Dan right?" she asked, I nodded. "But I've met you and I think you're pretty amazing Phil."

It took almost all of my will power not to laugh right then. "Thanks, I will talk to him about it. But I don't even know where he is, I mean he's probably at the convention center, but that place is pretty freaking huge."

Esme and I were making our way towards the convention center, talking about random things. After about 3 minutes of walking, I could hear us getting really close. By the sounds of it there must have been at least a thousand people in there. I look to my right and notice Esme is not longer walking by me. I turn around and see her a few feet behind me looking really nervous.

"Are you alright?" I asked her. That was a dumb question, I'm pretty sure by looking at her she isn't.

"That sounds like a lot of people in there, I don't do well with a lot people around, especially strangers."

I just look at her for a little bit. She looks so scared and nervous, I don't know what to do or how to help. I just walk over to her and give her a hug. I wrap my arms around her body holding her as tight as I can. This may be a total invasion of personal space and she may not want to touch her, but I really don't know what else to do. I just stand there holding her, rocking us back and forth. After a few minutes I can feel her start to relax a little. I know this is probably when I should let go, but I can't. There's something that isn't allowing me stop hugging her, it just feels so nice, so natural.

Her head turns and I look down to see her face smiling at me, I can't help but smile back. She moves her arms and wraps them around my body, hugging me. "Thank you Phil. When I'm around a lot of people I don't know I get panic attacks, that's why I need Somma with me at pretty much all times. She's the only that can make me not freak out, well used to be the only one."

My smile got wider, "well I'm glad I could help, seeing you like that was pretty scary." I looked ahead of us, we are literally right next to the center. "We're going to walk in there so you can find Somma. There are a lot of people in there, but don't get nervous, I'll be right here." I take her hand and lace it with mine, "I'm not leaving until you find her. Are you ready to go in there?"

She looks at the room ahead, then to me, then to our hands, and nods, "I'm ready."

We walk into the convention center and it is packed. There are so many people here, how will we find Somma? How will I find Dan? I look over at Esme, I can see her start to get nervous. I squeeze her hands that's interlocked against mind and give her an encouraging smile. She looks at me and smiles back, we start to scour the center.

We look everywhere but there's no sign of Somma. I don't even know what she looks like really, Esme said she's short, has blonde hair with pink streaks, brown eyes, and she's probably wearing something weird. We tried to call her phone, but it went straight to voicemail. We apologized to people we thought were her. Occasionally I heard my name being called, but I had to get Esme to Somma before I did anything else.

We were making our 5th lap around the center when I noticed someone that matched her description. I stopped and pointed her out to Esme, "that's her I know it's her! She was wearing the same outfit when I last saw her" Esme jumped up and down and gave me hug. "Thank you so much Phil, I really don't know what I'd do without you." She gave me another hug and ran towards Somma, jumping on her back.

"What in the..." Somma turned around, "Esme?! Where in the actual flying fuck were you? I've been looking around this place for at least an hour."

I smiled, you did good Phil. I turned away so I wasn't the creeper staring at them, I felt like I was invading a private moment. I feel kinda empty, I know I barely know her, but I miss Esme. I don't know how I know, I just had this feeling I guess, but I know I'm going to see her again.

I walk around the center looking for Dan. I haven't seen him for what felt like a really long time, even though it's only been about an hour and 45 minutes. Luckily Dan was way easier to find than Somma, it only took a few minutes. I tapped on his shoulder to get his attention.

"Look, I don't know how many times I have to tell you, I'm flattered but I really don't want to have anal with you," he said while turning around.

"What? Have you been reading phanfictions?"

His eyes got wide and his mouth hung open, "oh my god Phil?! I thought I lost you forever. Where in the bloody fuck where you?"

"Um, it's kinda a long story, I'll tell you later." Should I bring it up now? No, there are too many people around, I'll tell him some other time. "So is there still free food?"

***Disclaimer, I don't know what country makes the most dildos, sorry**


	3. I Can't Think Of a Title

I frantically looked around everywhere, she was nowhere in sight. This is one of those times I really hate being short. I tried to find the familiar head with black hair and green eyes. It is so crowded in this room I could barely even walk. Hundreds of strangers surrounded me, I had to find Esme, fast. She is really bad when it comes to being around a lot of people she doesn't know, she may even start having a panic attack.

A few feet in front of me I see someone with long wavy black hair, I run up to them and tap their shoulder. "Dude Esme, I've been looking all over for you, are you alright?" They turn around with a confused expression on their face, this isn't Esme. "Oh my god, I'm so sorry maim. I thought you were my friend."

I quickly moved as far away from her as I could. Now, I'm back here at square one. If I was Esme where would I be? Well right now she's probably trying to get as far away from here as possible. A voice from the speakers above start talking, "there will be panel at the convention center in a minute, snacks are provided."

Everyone starts moving to the convention center, talking about the free food along the way. I try to move against the crowd, still turning my head looking for Esme. There are too many people running towards the center, I can't go the other direction. It's no use, I'm forced to go with everyone to the convention center.

The center was huge, and there even more people here than in the other room. Esme's probably in here, I can't imagine her fighting that crowd. Plus the lady said free food, we may not have a lot in common, but Esme and I were both big fans of food.

I look around the center, if I had trouble finding her before it's going to practically be impossible to find her in here. I try to call her name, it's useless, you can't even hear me five feet away because there are so many people. I pull out my cell phone and try to call her, I press the on button but it's not working. Great my phone's dead.

I sigh and start walking around the convention, I'm not going to find her by standing here. I start walking laps around the center, I really don't want to try fighting the mob in the middle. From what I can see there are a bunch of people surrounding about five main areas.

The area right in the center has the largest crowd around it. By people yelling things about who got in line first and whose order is whose, I assume it's the free food. Mmm, free food. I try to squeeze my way through the people, but I can't. There are way too many and I'm really lazy. But it's free food…laziness…free food…laziness, so the struggle is real.

I turn around and see the other places with a ton of people around them. I can't really see what everyone's surrounding, but I can definitely hear the sounds of high pitched shrieking. "Omg, I love you! I watch your videos every day! You are so hot and funny! I love you, I know I said that already, but I mean it times two!" There was a lot of fast talking, jumping, and hyperventilating. So the fangirls have found the youtubers.

A voice starts speaking from the other side of the room. A lady with a microphone and her hair in a ponytail talks, "hello attendees. We are very excited to have you here for VidCon. The convention doesn't start until tomorrow, but that doesn't mean we can't start the fun today. There are more of you here than expected, and that's terrific. You guys are the most dedicated fans, so why not let you have a little bonus panel."

The crowd cheered and roared with applause. The lady started speaking again, "I see some youtubers in the crowd, looks like about four of them. If you four could please come up here, I'm sure your fans would love to hear some advice about YouTube from you guys." The sea of fangirls started breaking apart, it was like Moses and the Jews, but four of them. The youtubers walked onto the stage, introducing themselves. After each introduction fangirls screamed as loud as they could, and I mean like really, really, really, really, really, really, really loud. It's like wild animals in the jungle, each trying to prove their dominance. I cheered for all four, I'm pretty much everyone's fangirl.

The four of them sat down and asked for questions, most of which were really stupid. I wonder what it's like to be a famous youtuber. It seems like a lot of fun, but also a lot of pressure. And thinking about the four people here, there must be almost a thousand people in this room, they have to get up and talk in front of all of them. I love people, and I do really well in front of a crowd, but even I would be a little nervous about something like this. If I get nervous over this I can't even imagine what someone like Esme would feel. Esme's brilliant and awesome, I believe she can go into any career she wants, except for entertainment. I love her, but holy shit, does she not do well in front of people.

My head pops up as a thought comes to my head. Something really important that I just remembered. What was I thinking about, YouTube, people, Esme? I gasp in realization, how could I forget? Seriously Somma how could you forget something so important. The free food cart no longer has the crowd around it.

I rush over to where the food cart is. I look at the side and see all the pretty pictures of such beautiful things. I grow hungrier and hungrier, I stop my reading and start to order. "Hi I would like…"

A person appears from the other side of the cart, "sorry, we're all out. Those people, I mean savages, were very hungry," He pointed to the crowd listening to the panel. "The last item was taken by that gentleman," the vender pointed to a guy standing right beside me. I looked to my right and saw a young man, I'd say in his 20's, with a hat and sunglasses eating some chips and chees mix. How did I not notice someone right beside me, I know, the amazing, blinding, power of food.

Well my heart has just been shattered into a million pieces. I know I've done some bad things in my life, but I don't they merit this type of cruelty. I turn to walk back to the panel, then I feel a hand on my shoulder. It's the guy that took my food, I turned back around to face him. He just looked at me for a few seconds, I couldn't see his face that well, but he looked somewhat familiar.

He took my arm and led to a different part of the room, one where people can't see us. Was I going to die? I look him up and down, I think I can take him, or at least stall until someone else can. Then he extends his arm towards me, I notice the chip bag in his hand. I look up at him, "go on, take a few. They were free and I can tell you probably want them as bad as I do."

I take some chips from the bag, I smell them, for safety. I mean he could very well be a raging, homicidal, maniac. Even though I can't see his eyes I can tell he rolled them at me. They smell like ordinary chips, I could do some more investigating just to be sure, I mean it is my life that's at risk here. Nah, fuck that, I'm hungry and lazy, that overrides the possibility of death.

I eat the chip and wait a few seconds. I'm not dead yet, yay! I take some more and eat them. I keep playing what he said to me, I know that voice from somewhere. He's obviously English, I couldn't mistake that accent. But there was something else about that voice, I knew who it belonged to. I rack my brain, but once again it seems to have failed me. As I threw away the chip and the chess mix bag, he probably didn't want me to eat the rest of his food, but what can I say I'm a fatass, I had an epiphany. I remember who that voice belongs to, and even though I can't really see it I know whose face that is.

I look up to him again, and he must know that I know because he sighs and takes off his sunglasses and hat. I knew it, I knew it was him! I bite my lip to stop my screaming, but I still jump up and down. I try to stop my fangirling, this is exactly what he doesn't want. Once I've calmed down enough I start talking, really fast, "hi, omg, I did not expect to run into you. Agh I love your videos. Omg I'm so sorry, I know you get this type of thing all the time. I swear, I'm a normal person. Okay well not normal, because I watch your videos," wow Somma nice one, real smooth. "I mean not that you're weird, well you are, but as in a compliment. You know what I mean? You probably do. Cause you're smart like that. Wow you haven't run away yet."

He starts laughing, god I love his laugh, "hey, I can see you're a fan." He laughs some more, "sorry for laughing, I'm sure that's not what you want. I do appreciate you not screaming and summoning the other fangirls," he smiled at me, let me die. "Thanks, I take weird as compliment, and you should too because I think you're pretty weird. And pretty awesome, and pretty smart, and just plain old pretty."

I must have a smile on my face that would even scare the joker, and my face must be even redder than the blood of enemies after I vanquish them. Did he really just give me all of those compliments, I'm going to let my fangirl show again. Danisnotonmotherfuckingfire just said I was weird, as a compliment, awesome, smart, and pretty. Dsklafjnklchrrkgj; , that was my emotions.

"Thanks, you too. Minus the actual pretty part. I mean not that you're not pretty, you're very pretty. I just… you're a guy, so handsome seems more fit. I mean if you want to be pretty you can be, I don't judge. After all you are a lesbian, a pretty lesbian. I would go lesbian for you." I seriously had to stop myself from facepalming with that last line, I am so good with guys."

He laughs again, "thanks, I've always wanted a beautiful lady to call me and pretty lesbian and go gay for me. Life accomplishment, check. Wow, you're funny too, I think I would go lesbian for you as well."

Kill me, kill me now. Dan Howell just said he would go lesbian for me. I seriously never thought this would happen to me. I'd like to take this time to thank my dad and the academy. I actually started doing my victory dance. As I was dancing a thought occurred to me, "why aren't you at the panel with the others?"

"Well, when I first got here it was pretty quiet, there wasn't a lot of people around. Then before I could go back, people started entering like mad. There were hundreds and hundreds of people flooding in here. Before I knew it, I was surrounded by teenage girls. They were all screaming and jumping in my face. As soon as I could get away, I ran into this guy with this hat and these sunglasses." He gestured to the objects in his right hand, "I asked him if I could borrow them, and he said no. Then I heard some fangirls screaming my name and told them if he didn't give them to me those girls would be here in seconds. So then he gave them to me without hesitation. I just walked around for a while, then the lady started talking. I contemplated walking up there, but I was enjoying my peace a little too much."

"Oh wow, it must be difficult getting peace sometimes. Especially at a convention where you're basically Jesus. I'm probably not helping, I mean I went total fangirl mode a few minutes ago."

"Oh no, I didn't mean you. You're fine, I'm actually enjoying your company. You're very nice."

Oh no, I was blushing, again, for like millionth time since this conversation started. "Omg, thank you. Umm, ditto. Wow I'm such a fail," I laughed at the failure that is me. Then another thought occurred to me, "holy shot I forgot about Esme." I started to get panicky, I mean who seriously forget about their own best friend. Ughh it was the free food and hot British guy that did it.

Dan noticed my sudden panic, "What's wrong? Who's Esme?"

"Esme's my best friend, and I lost her, then I forgot about her. Wow, I'm pretty sure you want to be my friend right now. Oh my god I can't believe it, I have to find her. She does not do well with a bunch of strangers. If she's in this room she'd probably have a panic attack, and I would've noticed. But she has to be in this room. I just- I don't know where else she would be."

"Okay calm down we'll find your friend," Dan put his hands on my shoulder to soothe me, "when did you last see her?"

"It was in that one room with tons of people in it, we were walking and for some reason I turned my head to look at something. When I looked back she was gone, I tried to find her, but I couldn't. I looked through the crowd, yelled her name, tried calling her phone, none of it worked. I felt like a parent that lost their child, although it was probably more like the other way around. Then the lady announced free food and everyone ballistic, it was like a herd of wilder beasts running to the convention center. When I got to the center it was even worse, I tried to find her, but to no avail."

"Oh wow that really sucks, I'm sorry." He gave me sympathetic look, "it's terrifying to lose a friend somewhere, especially a place like this." We stood there for a second, then his eyes got really big and he started looking around, "I've lost Phil."

"What?! Oh my god," I looked around, Phil was nowhere in sight. Wow, I'm such a bad fan, I can't believe I didn't notice earlier. "Wow, we definitely win friend of the year award. How'd you lose him?"

"We were having a race because when we went down to the lobby no one was there and we were bored. So we were running and everything was fine, but then we got to this room, and it was crowded. I think it was the same room you lost Esme in. And I was gliding past the people, but Phil wanted to stop racing, because he was losing, and slowed down. I got to the convention center and claimed my victory. I waited there, expecting to see Phil show up in a minute. But instead of Phil there came hundreds of other people. I tried looking for Phil, and before I got too far I was surrounded by fans."

As soon as he's done explaining, there's a sound of applause and screaming from the left side of the room. The four youtubers leave the stage and the lady comes back with the microphone in her hands, "thank you to those four youtubers for answering our questions. And you, amazing audience, for asking, this wouldn't be possible without you." I completely forgot the panel was going on. The crowd cheered even more, and started screaming as the youtubers went back into the crowd. "Thank you everyone for coming to VidCon, I hope to see you all next year. The free food cart has been replenished."

Then a mass amount of people ran towards the food cart. Dan grabbed my arm and started running the other way. We ran to the other side of the room, where there weren't that many people. Dan had his great disguise of sunglasses and a hat back on, I seriously don't know how that fooled me, or anyone. "We need to find Phil and Esme."

I told him what Esme looked like and we started searching, he took the left side of the room, I took the right. I scoured the room, there was no one that looked like them. The mass group of people by the food cart had lessoned, but it was still difficult to pick out individual people. I tried to go through the crowd, no sign of either of them.

I saw Dan and ran over to him, "any luck?"

"No," he replied, "this is fucking impossible, I honestly don't see how we're ever going to find them."

I sighed and looked back at the room of people, I don't think I can do it. "Hey," a voice from behind Dan spoke, "can I get my hat and sunglasses back, I'm heading back to my hotel room?"

Dan handed the man back his belongings, and the man left the room. Dan and I both sat down with our backs to the wall in defeat. I can't give up, I'm me. Esme is somewhere and as her friend it's my mission to find her. I stand up and Dan does too. We both can't give, for our friends.

"Omg is that Danisnotonfire?!" I looked across the room to see a girl, I'd say around 16, pointing at Dan. Heads in the room turn towards us. Then not even a second later, there is a mob of teenage girls running towards us. Dan and I look at each other, "run, run for your life and find Esme."

I nod before leaving him, "thank you Dan, for everything." I then proceed to get the fuck out of there. As soon as I'm far enough away I stop and look back, I can't even see Dan over the girls surrounding him. I feel bad for leaving him, but he told me to, and I had to find Esme.

I looked at the clock, it had been about an hour and 15 minutes since I lost Esme. Wow an hour and a quarter, if I'm ever away from Esme again at least I know I can cope well. If you didn't pick up on my sarcasm, than I'm sorry, you're stupid. Let's look at the bright side of this, I met Dan Howell, the guy I've been stalking through the internet for years. And I took some of his food, mmm food.

If there's one thing I can admire about myself is my optimism. I can always see the bright side of a situation. I guess you can call me Ms. Brightside. Hahahahaha shut up.

People started to disperse from the centers of gravity in the room. Now even I was in the middle of a bunch of people. This made it even more difficult to find her, yay fun. I was looking everywhere, God dammit Esme, you aren't fucking Waldo. Whoa, Esme fucking Waldo, now that was weird.

It's been almost 30 minutes since I left Dan, and I found her! No, I actually didn't, surprise. Suddenly I felt this giant thing on my back, attack of the giant mutant leach, maybe 2012 was delayed for 8 months. "What in the..." I turned around, "Esme?! Where in the actual flying fuck were you? I've been looking around this place for at least an hour."

She climbed off my back, "sorry, but I was actually looking for you, sort of. While I was lost I ran into this guy," she pointed towards the direction she attacked me from. "Hmm," she looked confused, "he was there when I left. I wanted you to meet him."

"Come on let's go back to the hotel room," I offered. We left the convention center and started our way back. Every room was completely deserted, except for the lobby, it had the receptionist.

Soon we were back at our room, and I walked in behind Esme and locked the door. I put my back to the door and spread my hands out, like a dramatic scene from a movie. "So, tell me about this boy! Is he cute, is nice, are you guys in love, are you getting married yet?! Shit, the wedding. Okay I know blue is your favorite color, so I was thinking the brides maids dresses can be blue. Now I know that you don't like dresses, but bitch you are going to wear a beautiful white dress and knock the wind out of the boy. Now where should the honeymoon be, I think somewhere tropical would be nice. But I know you're more of a cold weather fan, so maybe in a nice log cabin in the woods, that sounds nice and cozy. How many kids are you guys going to have? I would say three, it seems like you'd have three kids."

"Somma calm your tits, like srsly," Esme put her hands on my shoulders and shook me around. "I just met him literally two hours ago. Wow, and you wonder why I don't bring guys home."

"Wait, there have actually been guys you haven't brought home? As in you've actually dated guys." Omg, there is hope.

"No," dammit, "but if I was I wouldn't bring them home."

"Why not?" She gave me 'bitch are you fucking kidding me' look, "I promise to behave, I won't even plan out the wedding."

"Mhhhmm," she nodded, "right."

I sighed, "so, tell me about this boy."

"Well, his name's Phil and he's really nice. After I lost you, I started to get really nervous, I may have even had a panic attack. But I didn't because before I could have one I ran into Phil, or more like he ran into me. He fell on me and I was apparently unconscious for a little bit. But he stayed with me until I woke up, he didn't want to leave me alone. Then we started talking about different things. We decided to walk to the convention center to find you. I was about to have a panic attack when Phil somehow prevented it. Then we tried to find you, which took a while, but we did it. And I have my bff fo rizzle back!"

We smiled and hugged each other, after we stopped hugging we both laughed. "Fo shizzle. Oh my god, can't that happened! I have to meet this Phil guy, did he really prevent one of your panic attacks?" Esme nodded and my mouth hung open in shock, "wow, I have to meet this guy. I'm impressed, I thought I was the only one that could do that. I know I said I wouldn't do this anymore, but you guys are so going to get married." I clasped my hands together and put them by my face, marveling a relationship that doesn't exist.

"You are so ridiculous," Esme said exasperated, "but that what makes you, you. So what happened worth you? Did you meet a guy that helped you find me too?"

"Actually yes, dude you aren't even ready for this… are you getting ready?!" She nodded, "okay…I met the one the only, danisnotonfuckingfire!" I raised my hands in the air in excitement. I looked at Esme and she was completely unphased. "Danisnotonfire, dude did you hear me? I met danisnotonfire!"

She tilted her head in confusion, "is that the internet guy you obsess over?"

"One of them. I mean I love all my babies, but Dan is probably my favorite, don't tell the others."

"I wouldn't dream of it. Did you seriously call him your baby, how old is he?"

"He's 22, but that doesn't matter, he's still my baby."

"So your baby is two years younger than you are, that's umm," her fingers stroked her imaginary beard, "biologically impossible."

"Whatever, he's still my baby and my future husband."

"That's incest. I know we border it, but we're not from West Virginia, or ancient Greece."

"Ugh, shut up Esme," I pushed pass her on my way to my love, the internet. "He was so awesome, and cool, and hot, and funny, and nice, and amazing. Ugh, why can't we get married? I just ,jfxdsu." I started flailing on right next my computer.

"Um, Somma, dude, are you alright?"

"What?" I snap out of my fangirl, "yeah, I'm fine, I was just fangirling. Ugghh, Dan why do you do this to me?" I sat down and looked at my computer, "I'm sorry you had to see that baby." I spent the few seconds hugging my computer.

"Well that explains a lot," Esme laid down on her bed and turned on the T.V.

I turned my computer on and looked at my wallpaper, a collage of youtubers. "Don't worry my loves, she just doesn't understand. But someday she will."


	4. A Really Long Line

**This is actually only part of the full chapter, but it's getting late and I decided to only put up this part because I told myself I would update today, and I won't have the rest ready until at least tomorrow. Also I would like to take this time to apologize for any continuity errors, I really don't like rereading my writing and I'm lazy. Peace and Shallah **

I'm awoken from my sweet slumber by the enchanting sounds of an alarm clock going off. I look at the alarm clock that rests on the nightstand next to my bed, I see numbers that are way too early to figure out. All I know is that it's before noon, which it's too early to be awake. I shut the alarm off and go back to sleep.

Two minutes later I hear another alarm. I look around the room to see where the noise is coming from. There's a second alarm next to the T.V., damn it, I may actually have to get up. I try to go back to sleep, but I can't. I'm forced to get up and turn it off. As soon as pull the covers off, I'm filled with a deep sense of regret as the cold air hits me. I walk over to the alarm and turn it off.

I walk back over to the bed and look at it, then I look around the room. Should I go back to bed, or should I get up? I'm already up, I could actually start getting ready for the day. I could be more productive and actually get things done. I have a ton of research to do before school starts. I could get some of that out of the way and not have so much to do when I get back. Nah, fuck that shit, laziness and procrastination for the win. I jump back into bed, literally, and pull the covers over me.

As soon as I'm under the covers I hear a third alarm. Oh my fucking god what in the actual llama tits! Of course this would happen to me. Where is this one even coming from? I walk around the hotel room searching for the noise. After almost of minute, I finally find the alarm in the bathroom. I shut it off and walk back to my bed, that better have been the last one, or else I'm about to go all kamikaze on this bitch.

Where were these alarms coming from? I didn't set any, especially not this early. I start to close my eyes. Before I drift to sleep I notice something, Somma isn't here. I wonder where she is. As my starts to shut down a thought comes to me, oh my god that bitch did not.

The hotel door swings open. "Rise and shine bitch," of fucking course, I should have known. Somma walks in, well more like a mix between a strut and a march, with what I think are bagels and some coffee. She puts the food down on the table and looks at me, "are you seriously still in bed? I set like four alarms, and your lazy ass is still half asleep."

"Well that's because it's way too early for my lazy ass to be up," I take the cover off, cold, very cold, I put the covers back on. I sit up in the bed, "four alarms? I only heard three." As soon as I said that another alarm went off. It was right next to Somma on the table, and she quickly turned it off. Why did she want me up so badly that she set four alarms?

"You better get your ass up and eat this damn bagel," she held up the bagel, "I went all the way down to the food place thingy to get this for your ass, and to stalk some people. In case the authorities ask you, I was in this room all morning." She looked in the mirror and fixed her hair, then she started to walk out of the hotel room. "I'm going to look around for a vending machine that sells chips, as I forgot to earlier because I was too focused on your damn bagel. I'm going to be back soon, and when I get back I expect to see you awake. Dan and Phil's meeting is in an hour, so get ready."

Well there's the reason I was looking for. God, she is so obsessed with these damn YouTube people. She's even making me get up at outrageous hours to see them, 11 a.m., really? I get up and take a shower, yay, I love getting wet in the morning. I get out of the shower, dry myself and get dressed. I wash my face and brush my teeth, singing Chip Skylark's My Shiny Teeth and Me. That song is the shit, not literally.

I look in the mirror and fix my hair, sometimes I just want to burn it off, maybe in some weird satanic ritual. I wonder what Somma's doing, I heard her some back a while ago, she's probably on her computer. I exit the bathroom and see Somma on her computer, how did I know? Well it's pretty obvious how I know, she's practically married to that thing. I bet she's on YouTube or Tumblr, those are her favorites.

I walk behind her and look over her head, she's on both. She has her headphones in so she can't hear me. I watch her for a while, she watches a video and laughs, and then she goes on Tumblr and scrolls, then laughs again. I feel like I'm watching a nature documentary, the rare endangered Somma in her natural habitat. Somma checks her watch, I look too, it's about 11:40. "Esme," I had to plug my ears, she's so loud, I bet the people next door can hear her. I would tell her I'm right behind her, but this was more fun, "Esme get your ass out of the bathroom, the meet up is at noon, we have 20 minutes and I want to get there early."

She scrolls on Tumblr for another few minutes, then the yelling starts again, "Esme! Esme! And she complains that I take too long to get ready." Somma shut down her laptop and got up, wow she actually got up, she must really want to get to this meet and greet. Of course she walked right into me, "oh my god Esme, what the fuck." Somma rubbed her head as she walked past me, "I get up and turn around and there's this 5'7" wall just standing there. How long were you standing there? I've been calling your name."

"Well I was standing there for like ten minutes, it was very entertaining. I felt like I was watching a nature documentary on the rare endangered Somma in her natural habitat." I walked over to where she was and put on my shoes, "and believe me, I heard you yelling."

"What?! You were there for ten minutes and you didn't tell me? We could've gone down there ten minutes ago." Oh fun, now she's going to rant about how we could've been down there earlier. We walk out of the hotel room and down the hall, Somma is still babbling on about how we should have been there ten minutes ago.

"Somma," I yell once we're at the elevators, cutting her off mid rant. She looks at me, yay I've finally managed to get her attention. She pushes the button to go to the lobby, "what's the big deal if we get there ten minutes later? It's 11:45 and the meet and greet's at noon, we still have fifteen minutes. We're actually going to be early."

The elevator door opened and we stepped in it. I looked around as Somma pressed the button, we were the only ones in the elevator. "I know we're still going to be early, but the thing is we could've been earlier. I know you know practically nothing about the internet, and I don't really have a lot of time to explain it. Just know that people like Dan and Phil have fangirls…"

"Fangirls? What's a fangirl?"

"Umm, it's a little difficult to explain. You know how when I watch YouTube videos and go on Tumblr I get kinda…um emotional."

I nod, "yeah, you definitely get emotional, you let out this high pitched squeal and your arms flail around. Sometimes I walk in your room and you're lying on the floor crying about your 'feels," I use air quotes as I say feels. The elevator door opens and we walk out of it into the lobby.

"Yeah, well that's part of fangirling, which is what fangirls do, we fangirl. Anyways fangirls are very, uhhh, dedicated people, if you want to put it that way. Which means even though we're ten minutes early there's already a line that'll take hours to get to the beginning of. Even if we left ten minutes earlier than we did, we still probably would have to wait hours, but it would be less."

"What? Why would there be a line there hours long already?"

"Because like I said, fangirls are very dedicated people. I saw people lining up at ten when I got your bagel." We made our way to the convention center, where the meet and greet was. I couldn't believe what Somma said, where there really people that crazy. I know Somma's one of these 'fangirls' she does this fangirling stuff all the time. I bet if she didn't have to get me up, she'd be in line at ten too. I don't really know what these fangirl things are, but they kinda intrigue me. I feel like they're more obsessed than just dedicated.

As we make our way to the meet and greet place, I sorta may have eavesdropped on some conversations. It was either that or listen to Somma go on about how 'perf' different youtubers were. After many years of being friends I've mastered the skill of zoning Somma off, but this time it was a little more difficult. She was so loud and she spoke so fast, I listened to part of it, "and like omg, I'm so fucking excited. Just like- I can't- my feels. I've waited so long for this day, I just- akhflkmirfxhu;rmf. My ovaries will explode so many times today. I know I met Dan yesterday, but it's just like ugh. I'm still not over that he's just so presh and perf. Like I can't even. And I'm going to meet him again, and Phil, and Ian, and Anthony, and…," okay after that I stopped listening. Did she say her ovaries would explode? That sounds very painful.

She wasn't the only one rambling about how 'perf' these youtubers are, or how they 'can't even.' What does this stuff even mean? I feel like it's some kind of ancient secret language only known by the obsessed 'fangirls.' Maybe they're like a new breed of the mafia, or the illuminati. I see a lot these 'fangirl' people here. I've seen so many in my life, there were way more people today than yesterday, obviously because the convention actually started today. It's so weird, there are so many people, crying and screaming about their 'feels.'

I bet this isn't a convention, it's actually a secret mafia/illuminati meeting. And through their tears and high pitched, fast paced babble, they're sending secret codes to overthrow the government and rule the world. Then they'll have duels to see who gets to marry their idols. I stand here listening to them talk, growing stronger every minute. And then after they've all killed each other, I will rise and become the supreme overlord of the universe. I shall use their bodies as sacrifices to Satan and God, I mean I can't just sacrifice to one of them, that wouldn't be fair, and I'm all about fairness. I shall be the dictator of the universe, I am immortal, I am justice.

Okay, what? I don't even know my thought process there. I listened to the conversations, mostly it was just people raving about youtubers. As we got closer to the Dan and Phil line, I heard more people talk about these girls. Apparently two girls were with Dan and Phil for a while yesterday, I listened to a conversation.

"Did you hear? Yesterday Dan was in the convention center, and then he went away for a while. When he came back he was with this short, blonde, girl with pink streaks in her hair, people that were there said it looked like they've been talking for a while before they saw him."

"Really? I heard there was a girl with Phil in the convention center too, well minus the hundred rest of them. People said there was this girl with black hair walking around with him for like twenty minutes. They say he was even holding her hand, and when people called his name and asked for an autograph, he would continue to walk with the girl."

"Wow, I didn't hear about that. I wonder who they were, damn they're so lucky." The girl gaped and put her hand over her mouth, "oh no, what if they're their girlfriends?! I don't think my feel would survive. What would happen to Phan?"

"Dude calm down, I highly doubt that. Phan is real, and nothing's going to change that. They may have been friends, Dan and Phil have friends that are female. This might not even be true, you know how the Phandom is with starting rumors and shitstorms. Maybe someone just made it up."

Somma stopped for no reason, I turned to her and wondered if she was going to move, but she didn't, she just stood there. "Um dude what are you doing? Why did you stop?"

Somma looked at me, "I stopped because this is line, we have arrived at our destination." I looked forward to see an absolutely fucking massive line in front of us. I couldn't even see what was at the front, which a presume are Dan and Phil. This is ridiculous it's going to take hours to get to the front. I don't know who these Dan and Phil people are, but they better be fucking Jesus, not literally.

All of a sudden an uproar of screams starts, people are jumping around frantically. Everyone's attention turned to left, I tried to see what was going on, but everyone was in the way. I hear people around me scream various things, 'they're here,' 'omg I can't believe it's them,' 'they're even more beautiful in person,' 'they're taller than I thought,' 'ermahgerd my feels…I just-I can't even…my ovaries.'

I looked at Somma beside me, she was screaming as loud as the rest of them. Her hands were flailing and she was jumping, trying to see what caused the deafening ceremony. "Can you even see what's going on?" I yelled as loud as I could.

"What? I can't hear you."

I got a little closer to her, "why are you screaming? I doubt you can see them with all the people jumping."

"I don't need to see them to scream, I know how perf they are by heart."

All the people screaming and jumping is making me nervous. My hands start to sweat and my limbs feel a little weird. Just now I noticed how many people are in this room, there's a lot. It's getting more difficult to breathe, I grab Somma's arm to let her know it's happening. She looks at me and in an instant she knows what's going on. "Shh, Esme," she pulled me closer to her. "It's going to be okay, soon the crowd is going to die down. Then everything's going to get quitter and calmer. We're going to stand in line right behind these three people," she gestured to the three people in front of us. "Only look forward at the three people in front of us. That's all there is, us and the people in front of us."

The crowd settled down, no more screaming and jumping. I looked forward and only forward, it's just Somma, me, and the three of them. I calm down, my hands stop sweating, my limbs feel normal, I breathe in, and out. I look at Somma and smile, and she smiles back. Now we just have to wait, for hours.

The line moves up, ever so slowly. The entire time Somma is rambling about various people she obsesses over, or as she likes to say, is highly devoted to. I hear people talk about the people they obsess over, they really like doing that here. Occasionally I hear people talking about the girls Dan and Phil were with yesterday. I really don't see what the big deal was, so what if they were with girls yesterday? They keep on talking about they want to marry them and it ruins their chances, or how it'll ruin 'Phan,' whatever that is.

I'm pretty sure one of the chicks is Somma. She's short, has blonde hair with pink streaks, and she was with Dan at the convention center yesterday. I wonder if Somma knows that so many people are talking about her, or that so many people want her head on a plate. Seriously these people don't mess around, I've only been around them for the hour and a half I've been in this line, but I wouldn't be surprised if half of them ended up being cereal killers. I feel bad for Somma and this other chick, I mean if you mess with this 'Phan' thing, you are most definitely on the hit list of this cult. I doubt Somma even knows, she's way too busy 'fangirling' to eavesdrop.

Fast forward two hours, and we're still in line. Remind me to kill Somma, or actually I'll just rat her out to this cult, not only will they kill her, but they'll make it painful. I don't know much about this cult of people, but they're very, umm, interesting people. They're a pretty advanced cult, they've even developed their own code. They say things like 'Delia smith' and 'placenta' a lot. Everyone is like Somma, a 'fangirl' I never knew that there were so many of them. They even make Somma seem almost normal, almost.

I've already lost at Tetris a million times, I've been playing it so much I'm actually getting pretty good. My phone dies in the middle of my game, dammit, I was really close to beating my high score. I turn to see Somma on her phone, more specifically, Tumblr. I look ahead and see we're almost at the front of the line, thank fucking god. With my phone dead, my patience was not going to last long.

After another person leaves the line I can finally see these Dan and Phil people. They better be worth this damn wait. I look at them and gasp, right as I look Phil makes eye contact with me. His eyes go wide and we stare at each other for an entire half a second. I quickly hide behind Somma. Holy shit, what the fuck, WHAT IN THE ACTUAL FUCK! This can't be happening, the Phil I met yesterday is the same Phil that all these people waited hours to see. I saw the look in his eyes, he remembers me. I peek out from behind Somma, he's moving his head around, looking for something, looking for me. Okay Esme breath in and out, in and out. What the fuck, how could Phil be…Phil? All these people obsess over this guy, if they knew I met him yesterday they would tear me apart limb by limb.

Holy to the motherfucking shit! Realization hit me like molasses in the wintertime, I know I didn't use that right, but my brain doesn't have time for stupid sayings. I am the girl. I am the girl they were talking about. I have black hair, I met Phil yesterday, I walked around the convention center, and he held my hand. I have a bounty over my head, I'm too young to die. I haven't graduated school yet, I've never had a dog or a cat, I can't die there's so much life I have to live.

Somma notices me behind her and turns around, "dude are you alright? Why are hiding behind me?" I was about to tell Somma, but then another realization hit me. God dammit realization, I'm not Britney, you better not hit me one more time. Okay really Esme, that was so lame. Anyways, we're surrounded by ravaging fangirls, I can't tell Somma now.

"Um, yeah I'm fine. I just was admiring your hair, it's so nice and shiny." I start playing with her hair. She give me this 'what the fuck man' look and turns around. "I'll tell you later," I whisper to her.

I think about what I just thought, and another realization hits me. I'm right, I'm surrounded by ravaging fangirls, thirsty for my blood. I start to get nervous again, dammit Esme. No, no this can't happen again. Close your eyes and calm down. It's just you and Somma, and the three people in front of you. You and Somma, and the three people in front of you.

We're really close to meeting Dan and Phil now. I'm actually a little nervous, I know he recognizes me, I wonder what he'll say. Some part of me, the one you'll never take away from me, STOP IT WITH THE SONGS. Anyways, like I was saying, some part of me…don't do it again… wishes that we wouldn't meet Dan and Phil. I know the whole two and a half hours would be a complete waste, but I just did not want to meet them.

I saw the other one, Dan, look at Somma and his eyes got wide. I look over at Somma and see her staring at him. They were just staring at each other, then Phil snapped his fingers in front of Dan's face, and that seemed to get him out of his trance. Somma had her mouth open, but I don't think she was breathing. Phil looked over at us, I guess he was seeing what got Dan's attention, and of course we made eye contact. Now it was our turn to stare, and Dan snapped his fingers in front of Phil's face. They looked at each other briefly before greeting the next fan.

Somma and I looked at each other. "You…you…you yesterday Phil…is the same Phil…you and…you met," Somma tried to say something, but obviously failed. Then she turned her attention towards the front of the line, and I did the same. We just looked at the back of the three people heads as we inched closer to the part I was dreading.

Soon it was our turn next, I felt really nervous. Please God something stop this from happening. The people before us are done, and it's our turn. As soon as we're about to step up and meet them, two security guards stop us. Yes, thank you, finally someone listens to my prayers. "Sorry," one of the guards spoke up, "Dan and Phil's time is up, this meet and greet is over."

I hear a bunch of screams and whines from behind us. Dan and Phil give apologetic looks and 'sorrys' to everyone. Somma and I just stand there, not saying anything. Some people go to other places, like back to their rooms, or to meet someone else. Other people run forward, and plead with Dan and Phil to get pictures and autographs. About half an hour later, the fangirls are done. Somma and I are still standing in the same spot. The room is way emptier, Dan and Phil just stand too. The four of us are staring at each other, no one speaks or moves.

The silence lasts for about ten minutes, then we all speak at the same time.

"So, um…"

"Yeah…"

"Uh hu…"

"Yup…"

Well that was a nice conversation. We started to walk towards each other, and soon enough we were only half a foot apart. We all said hi, then it was silent again. What are we even supposed to say? Hey I met you yesterday, and my friend met your friend, so um yeah?

"So," Phil started to speak, "I really don't know what to say. But seeing as apparently none of us do, I guess someone has to start. So yesterday, I met Esme, and you two also met," Phil pointed between Dan and Somma.

"Yes we did," Dan spoke after Phil. "By the way I believe I didn't get your name yesterday."

Somma slapped her hand on her forehead, "wow, I am such a phail. My name's Somma." She extended her hand and Dan shook it, then she shook Phil's hand too.

Then I felt left out and shook both of their hands too. "I'm Esme by the way."

"Oh trust me, I know about you," Dan said to me. "When we got back to the hotel room, Phil would not shut up about his pretty new girlfriend. He went on and on about how nice, and funny, and amazingly beautiful you are," he looked at me. "He said he liked how calm and mysterious you are."

Phil and I both blushed and looked at the floor, "I never said she was my girlfriend." Phil turned to Dan, "and what about you? Don't act all innocent. You were raving to me about this amazing girl you met at the convention center," Phil pointed towards Somma. "You told me about how happy, and energetic, and full of life she was. How gorgeous, and fun, and funny, she is."

Now it was their turn to blush. "Yesterday Esme told me all about how Phil was her savior, and how they're going to get married and be together five ever." She turned her attention towards Phil, "now I pretty much have the entire wedding planned, so you don't have to worry about that. Now the problem is how long it's going to take your ass to propose to her, I think right now is an appropriate time. I mean I already know you guys are so totes perf for each other, and what do you need besides that to get married. But I have this feeling it's going to take you a while to actually do it, ugh. Now another problem is the honeymoon. I think you're more of a tropical kind of person, I am too by the way, because you always talk about how much you like Florida because of the Sun. Now Esme here," she pointed towards me, "is more of a cold weather person. So I don't know what to do there, that's something you guys will have to figure out. Omg, your children will be so adorable, I bet you're going to have three of them. First you'll have a girl, then you'll a boy, and then another girl."

The three of us stare at her, Dan and Somma are laughing their heads off, while Phil and I are red as demon blood. What the fuck Somma, what in the actual fuck? It's time for revenge. "Okay you and I both know I never said any of that, actually it was you that said it. Don't act all innocent here." I turn to look at the boys, "Somma here has watched you videos and has stalked you for years. Almost every night I would be sitting around our apartment and suddenly hear a loud whale noise from Somma's room. I would walk in there to see of anything was wrong, and see her flailing on the floor with either, danisnotonfire Tumblr, Tumblr tag, Twitter, YouTube, or whatever else on her computer. I would also like mention Somma has read stories or as she like to call them, 'fanfiction,' about you guys. After she met you yesterday," I pointed towards Dan, "she completely flipped out and 'fangirled.'

Now Dan and Phil are beat red, while Phil and I are laughing our heads off. I look at Somma and I can tell she's going to kill me, but it was worth it, revenge is served.


	5. It's All about That Metrosexualporn

**Well this only took forever to put up, I was really procrastinating on this. This actually isn't the entire chapter, but I wanted to change the point of view. So this is like part 2 of 3.**

"So you guys make YouTube videos, for a living? How does that work?" Phil's girlfriend that's not actually his girlfriend yet, Esme is what I believe her name is, asks.

"Yeah, it's kinda weird. Well we partly make them for a living, Dan and I are also radio presenters," Phil explained as he puts down his drink. After the signing was cut off we talked for a little bit there. Then we became hungry and decided to move our conversation over to this fast food restaurant. Cause we're classy bitches like that.

"Oh, that's really cool," Esme smiled at us.

"It's pretty awesome, I'm not going to lie," I started talking. "But yeah, Phil and I are youtubers, that's people who make videos for YouTube. Phil makes videos whenever, and I upload ever week.

My explanation was cut short because Somma started laughing, "I'm sorry it's just the every week thing got to me." She laughed some more, "oh Dan you're so funny, every week, that's hilarious."

Hm, Somma, I'm pretty sure that's a name of a drug. In a way I feel like she is a drug. I know she's a fan of mine, that's pretty fucking obvious, she fangirled the first time I met her. Yet I wasn't annoyed in the slightest about her, not that I find my fans annoying or anything I love them and I'm really flattered, but they can be a bit much sometimes. I want to get to know her. She's literally a foot shorter than me, and her personality is so, um I wanna say addictive. She's so happy and energetic she makes me feel that way too. And she's so pretty, and smart, and fun, we're going to be great friends.

"Hey, sometimes I actually make my deadlines, I try," I defended myself. "And to finish what we were saying to your friend," I turned my attention towards Esme, "Companies put ads on before our videos, have you seen a video with an advert on it?"

Esme nodded her head, "yeah, like music videos and stuff."

"Well," Phil continued, "when people see those adverts YouTube gets money from it, and they share that money with us. So basically the more views your videos get the more money you make. Do you understand?"

"I think so. Why don't a lot of people do YouTube for a living? Does it pay a lot?"

"Well for one thing being having YouTube as a full time job a pretty damn difficult," I spoke up. "Like Phil said the more views you get the more money you make. It's pretty difficult to get enough views to support yourself on, you have to be pretty damn popular to do it full time. There are actually quite a few popular youtubers that do it for a living, you can meet a lot of them here. It can be difficult to always have a creative and cool idea, and editing is a bitch, then people may not like your video."

"There are tons of people that don't make enough money to live off of and many more that don't make any money at all. Getting an audience to watch your videos can be really difficult," Phil stated. "Do you sorta understand this?"

"Um yeah," Esme nodded her head. "No not really."

"Well it's a lot to take in," Somma said, "don't worry about understanding it all now, I can tell you some little by little later."

I was about to add something when I heard, "oh my god is that Danisnotonfire and AmazingPhil!" I turn my head to see two teenage girls approaching us. They both stood there looking at me then Phil, then me then Phil. "Hi," one of them spoke up, "we're really big fans of yours. Well duh, I bet you already knew that. So um can you sign something or can we get a picture?"

Before either Phil or could say yes or no, her friend said something, "hey are you guys dating or something?" She pointed between Phil and Esme, then Somma and I.

"Um, no we're just friends," Phil answered, with his cheeks turning pink. Wow Phil way to go. I smirked at him, what an idiot.

"Hey, remember how yesterday Dan was with a blonde girl, and Phil was with a black haired girl? I think that's them," girl one said.

"Omg, yes yes, I can totally see it! Don't worry guys we won't tell anyone about your girlfriends."

"Yeah, we're good at keeping secrets."

I raised my hand, "okay now hold on, like Phil said we're only friends. There's seriously literally nothing going on here," I moved my hands all dramatic like.

"Okay, sure, whatever you say," then with that they ran off.

"Well that was fun," Somma smiled, "boyfriend," then she grabbed my hand and started swinging it around with hers. She put my hand down, and even though I know she was totally 100% kidding about that, I have to admit I was blushing. Dammit cheeks, why do you fail me? I look across the table at Esme and Phil, and of course they're smiling and smirking. They both can sincerely fuck off.

"I'd hate to relocate this again, but I don't think that will be our last one of those if we stay here," I say as I throw my trash away.

Phil got up and threw away his trash too, "yeah, we should move, but where will go? No matter where it is, they'll find us, they have weird special stalking powers."

"We could move it to one of our rooms, if they appear there we can call the cops. Then I realized how weird that sounded, "not in a creepy way or anything." By the looks on their faces they probably didn't think of it like that until I mentioned it, good job Dan.

Somma and Esme got up and threw their stuff away. Then we just stood in the middle of the 'restaurant' discussing where we're going to go, brilliant. "Right, well actually that's not a bad idea. I mean our rooms are definitely the most secure places to talk. Maybe we could film a video or something, my channel is due for a new one," Wow, Phil actually backed me up on this.

"That's a great idea, what better way to teach Esme about videos and YouTube than to actually make a video!" Somma exclaimed.

"Alrighty then, let's go."

We made our way out of the 'restaurant,' and to the hotel lobby. In the lobby Phil and I ran into a few fans, and the girls walked a few a feet away from us so we don't have a repeat of what happened at the 'restaurant.' The last thing any of us need are dating rumors.

We enter Phil and I's room and sit down on the beds. "So what kind of video are we gonna make? Will it be weird because nobody knows who Esme and I are and we don't have YouTube channels? How will you introduce us?"

"No, it shouldn't be, we'll say you're our new friends, it'll be cool," I replied. We sat, Phil and I on one bed and them on the other, think about an idea for a video. "Hey Somma," Somma looked at me, "why don't you have a YouTube channel? I can understand why Esme doesn't, but you're like an internet person, you should have one."

"Well I have a channel, but I don't use it minus subscribing to people."

"Why not? I think you're a pretty awesome person, you should make video."

"Yeah," Phil chimed in, "you really should, it's a lot of fun."

"I bet it is, I really want to, I actually almost posted a video before. I don't know, I don't really have anything to make a video about, I can't edit well, and I'm really lazy."

"You don't really need anything super amazing for it to be about, just talk about your life or something you find interesting. Don't worry about editing, you'll get better at that, we were all noobs at the beginning. And about the lazy part, as you may know I'm extremely lazy, if I can do it so can you."

"Thanks Dan, maybe I will become a 'youtuber,'" she used are quotes when she said youtuber. "Well I won't be an actual youtuber because no one will watch my videos."

"You don't need a ton of views and subscribers to be a 'youtuber,'" Phil spoke, "and anyways I'd watch your videos."

"I'd watch your videos," I say.

"Even though I don't really know how this whole YouTube thing works, you can bet I'd watch them," Esme chimed in. Wow, she's so quiet, I actually almost forgot she was there. I wonder if she's a ninja.

"Thanks guys, but there's another problem. My channel name is a little… misleading."

"What is it?"

"Wait, is it?" Esme questioned. Then she burst out laughing and rolling around the bed. Phil and looked at each other, confused. Why in the bloody universe did Esme do that? I know I just met her and I don't really know her that well, but that was so unlike her. "Oh my god," Esme regained some of her breath, "I can't believe you actually did that."

"Well, you're the one that told me to. I asked you for a username and you gave me one," now Phil and I looked over at Somma. Were they talking about her YouTube channel? Now I definitely want to know what her channel is.

"I didn't think you'd actually do it, I said it as a joke."

"Yeah I know, but I couldn't think of another name so I used it."

"Are you going to reveal to us what the channel is or…" Phil edged them on.

Somma and Esme looked at each other, then Somma spoke up, "metrosexualporn."

"What?!" Phil and both started laughing uncontrollably, "what was that about?"

"That's the channel," Somma explained to us. "The name Esme suggested to me and the one I actually used is metrosexualporn."

Phil and I looked at each other again, then I turned my attention towards Somma. "Well I can see why it would be a little misleading. Unless you plan on actually uploading videos of metrosexual porn."

"Yes, that's exactly what I plan on doing. I will hunt down metro sexual people and make them have sex, which I will record and put on the internet. That's exactly what I want to do with my life, my mom will be so proud of me."

We all laughed again, "oh my god, my sides are starting to hurt." Phil looked at Somma, "don't worry about, put videos on 'metrosexualporn' and have fun. The name is misleading, but I'm sure people will just find it hilarious."

"Yeah, alright, YouTube channel metrosexualporn is now under way," Somma proclaimed.

"Hazzah," the rest of us cheered, "hear hear."

"You're on the highway," Esme started singing.

"All night long," the rest of us joined her.

"Hey Esme why don't you start a YouTube channel?" Phil asked her.

"Me start a channel, I barely know anything about YouTube or the internet," Esme exclaimed.

"Hey, there's a video idea," our attention turned to Somma, "we could make a video about Esme not knowing about YouTube and stuff. Like we could show her youtubers and let her guess what they're about."

"That's a pretty good idea, and Esme could learn a little bit about the internet too."

"Alrighty then, let's start filming."

We set the camera up and Phil and I are sitting on the bed together. No, we didn't have sex on it, okay maybe we did, but what about the girls they were here. Maybe they just watched, what if that's the video we made. Well Somma's channel is metrosexualporn, but I'm not metrosexual, I've only ridden one once. Ha ha riding the metro, I rode that metro real good. What the fuck Dan, this is not the time for your metro fantasies. What if they joined us, a foursome, on a metro. Okay I think I'll stop now.

Phil got up and pressed the record button, then sat down again as I moved out of the frame. "Hey guys, today I'm at VidCon. VidCon dance," Phil then did his dance thing. "The weather here has been so amazing, and I loved meeting all of you guys. It was a lot of fun to meet you guys and sign things and take pictures. Sorry if you couldn't be here, hug for the rest of you," then he hugged the camera. "So I'm obviously not alone here at VidCon," he gestured for me to come on camera. That sounded weirder than I thought it would.

"Hey internet," I saluted.

"It's Danisnotonfire," Phil introduced me. "Have you been having fun at VidCon Dan?"

"I have Phil, the food's nice, the youtubers are great, but most of all the fans are awesome."

"That's good," Phil said. "Hey Dan, don't you think we should meet some cool new American friends while we're here?"

"Hmmm, I think that would be spiffing. But how are we going to do that?"

"Hmmm," Phil stroked his invisible beard, "I don't know."

Then we looked at Somma and Esme giving them the cue to join us. They jumped in front of the camera, next to me and Phil.

"Hey dudes," Esme put her hand on Phil's shoulder.

"How's it going?" Somma put her hand on my shoulder.

Phil and looked at each other, then we spoke at the same time, "whoa, cool new American friends."

"So guys, these are some new friends of ours," Phil pointed at Esme and Somma. "We met them earlier at VidCon, and they're super awesome."

"Yes they are, would you two like to introduce yourselves?"

"I'm Somma, and I enjoy long walks on the beach and eating spicy foods then annoying people I hate by farting."

The three of us started laughing, "wow, that's brilliant. What about you?" We all looked at Esme.

"And I'm Esme, I read a lot and tons of people think I'm a mute."

"Alright guys, these are out new friends…"

"Wait," Somma interrupted me, "here's something Esme left out of her little bio." She turned towards Esme, "little Esme here doesn't know a thing about the internet."

Phil and I pretend to be shocked. "What?!" Phil turned to Esme, "how can you not about the wonders of the internet? And if you don't know about YouTube and youtubers, then why are you at VidCon?" That's something I actually want to know the answer to, Esme never told us why she was here.

"I'm here thanks to this pyscho," she pointed at Somma who was grinning from ear to ear. "Somma here is an internet pro. She got two tickets to VidCon and somehow persuaded me to go with her, and now here I am. I know, it's a very exciting story."

"Well, while you're here in the land of YouTube," I said to Esme, "we might as well teach you a little bit about it."

We showed Esme various youtubers and asked what she thought of them. Then after hearing what she thought, which was completely wrong, we thought her what they actually did. We all laughed a ton and had a bunch of fun. It's so weird we just met these two girls and here we are making a video together, laughing, having fun, and goofing around. It's like how I'd when I'd hang around friends I've known for years. We also learned about each other a little and had a blast just getting to know each other. This is a nice moment, just four friends having a nice time together.

"Alright guys we are at the end of the video," Phil announced, "so Esme, did you learn a bit?"

"Yes, I actually think I learned a lot. I feel like I went from an internet noob to an intermediate level."

"That's amazing, high five team," we all high fived each other. "Thank you to Somma and Esme for being in the video."

"No problem," they said at the same time.

"Before these two leave," I stop them from getting up. "Somma is actually going to start her own YouTube channel. Care to tell them your username?"

Somma gave me the 'seriously dude' look and I put my arms out as if saying 'well?' Somma sighed, "my channel is called 'metrosexualporn.' The three of us once again burst out in laughter. Somma continued to talk, "anyways, I don't know when my first video will be up. Or how long it will be between uploads, and my video are probably going to be crap…"

"You guys should subscribe to her channel it's going to be amazing," I interrupted her. "Seriously right now, go subscribe, it's going to be awesome. And once again thanks to Somma and Esme for being here with us," I gestured for them to get out of the frame. They got up and sat over by the other bed, talking to each other about something rather.

"Okay this week's draw Phil naked is," then Phil did opened his arms to present the draw Phil naked. "And I will see you guys when I'm back in the home land." Then he shut the camera off and plugged it into his computer to start editing.

"The editing is going to take about four hours, I can probably finish by tonight." Phil turned the laptop on and imported the video.

"We better head back to our room," Esme said as she and Somma got up.

"Oh yeah, of course, I wouldn't want you guys to think we're keeping you captive here." They started walking towards the door, I felt sad about them leaving. I met only Somma yesterday and Esme earlier today, but I'm gonna miss them. We had so much fun making that video. What if I never saw them again? I can't let that happen, I need to know I'll see them at least one more time.

Esme and Somma opened the door and Esme was already out in the hall. "Hey," they turned around, "do you guys wanna hang with us again? Maybe later today or tomorrow or some other day. We could have lunch or walk around or whatever."

"Yeah," Phil spoke from behind me, "I think we should definitely make plans to meet again. I should have the video ready later tonight, we can order pizza or something and all watch the video and read comments together."

They turned to each other, Esme gave Somma a nod. "Consider it a date, Howell," Somma smiled at me. "You too Lester," she said to Phil, then she shut the door and left.

I just stood there, not moving, in the middle of the room. What just happened? I turned to Phil who was editing. "Phil do you know what just happened?"

"I believe you have a date Howell." I looked at Phil just sitting there editing. A date, I have a date. I can't believe it, I have a date. Phil has a date too. That's even weirder than me having a date. So is it me and Somma and Phil and Esme? Cause that's what I think is happening here. Of course I never really know what's happening.

"What about you?" I ask Phil and he looks up from his computer screen. "You have a date too."

Phil once again returns to the computer, "I know. It's weird, I met this girl yesterday and I have a date with her. Well sort of a date with her. I don't believe in love at first sight, I don't even know if I believe in love anymore, but there's something about her. I told myself I would never fall in love again." He turns to look at me, "but I want to fall in love with her. She's amazing, she's funny and smart and I find her really mysterious. She is seriously probably the most beautiful woman I've ever seen. I sound like a mad man, I guess really did fall for her, I mean that both figuratively and literally. Am I crazy?"

I chuckled, "maybe a little, but I think we all are. I know how you feel, well not entirely because your experience in love is way different than mine. You swore you'd never fall in love again, I've never fallen in love the first time. Love seems scary as fuck, I'm honestly kinda afraid of it. Yet she makes me not want to be afraid. For all my life I've stopped myself from falling in love, but now I don't want to stop myself, I want to know what it's like."

Phil edits again, "trust me bro, it is scary as fuck. Falling in love is very terrifying, but once you're there, it's truly amazing. Then reality hits and it's over, and you're there thinking why and how. And it's a constant cycle of pain and beauty, until you die."

Then it became a silent for a while, I sat on the bed while Phil has his headphones in editing the video. Do I like Somma? Okay it's pretty obvious that I do. I guess it's true that you can't help who you fall in love with. Now that's the real question, am I falling in love with her? She's so beautiful and whenever I'm with her I feel ten times happier than I was before. What is even is love? What is it to fall in love with someone? I want to know what it feels like, but I'm scared, and she makes me feel less scared.

In the midst of my thoughts Phil says something and interrupts them. "What?" I ask wondering what he said.

"I said I'll miss them."

"What do mean, they only left not even an hour ago. We'll see them later tonight, you must be whipped son."

"No, I said I'll miss them, as in I will miss them."

"What? I'm not following."

"They live in the U.S and we live in the U.K, VidCon's over in two days."

That hit me like massive diarrhea. I never thought of that before, after VidCon's over we'll be in two different countries. I was too busy thinking about her and whether I was falling in love or not, that I didn't see the reality of the fact that after VidCon I may never see her again.

I didn't feel real. She just walked in my life, and in two days she'll be leaving. I looked at Phil on his computer, he wasn't editing. He was just staring at the screen, a frame with the four of us smiling.

**I really hope it doesn't take two weeks for me to finally finish this chapter. P.s if you cared to know I actually do own the YouTube account 'metrosexualporn' it literally has one video on it. **


	6. Shipping To Where?

**It's ten in the morning and I still haven't gone to sleep. So I just wrote six thousand words that might not even make any sense, take that as a warning.**

"I can't believe you did that, that's a bit out there, even for you." Somma and I walk in our room and she closes the door. "I mean, 'consider it a date Howell' and 'you too Lester,'" I sat on my bed and turned on the T.V.

Somma sat down on a chair by her laptop, "I know, but did you see the looks on their faces, it was priceless. I want to travel back in time just so I can take a picture of that moment."

"Yeah their faces were pretty hilarious," I flipped through the channel, dammit there's nothing good on. "But what if they think it's a real date, that'd be awkward as fuck. I'd feel pretty bad too."

Somma turned her attention away from her computer. Wait what, did she really? I looked up and, holy shit she actually did, I should call the Global Inquirer. "What?! What are you talking about Esme? It is a real date, that's why I said 'consider it a date.'"

"Whoa, hold on, this is an actual date?" She nodded, well fuck son. "No, no this can't be a date. I mean, you and Dan can be on a date or whatever, but I can't be on a date."

"Why not? You haven't been on a date in a year, I think this will be good for you. Go on a date, have some fun, let go a little."

"Yeah, but what about work and school…"

"Esme," Somma cut me off, "we're on vacation, have some fun. Work doesn't exist until Sunday, and school doesn't start again until the week after we come back. Just go on this one date."

"I-I can't."

"Why not?"

"I don't know, I just can't"

"You know why Esme," it was silent for about a minute. "Is it because of Derek?" I didn't say a word, to be completely honest I really don't why I'm so hesitant to date someone. I know I always say I'm busy with school and work, but I know as well as Somma does that that's complete bull shit. I'm over Derek, I am. Am I?

"Esme it's been three years, go on a date, meet someone knew. I'm pretty sure he wouldn't want you to be this way. Why aren't you facing this, you only went to one of the therapy sessions your parents set for you."

"I'm done facing it, it was three years ago, it's in my past."

"Then why won't you date anyone?"

"I did go on that one date."

"Yes, one date last year since three years ago. Esme I'm your best friend talk to me, please."

"There's nothing to talk about," it was silent once more. Somma turned her attention back to her computer, and I watched the T.V.

I know I should tell her, but how can I tell her when I can't even tell myself? How am I supposed to tell her when I don't know what's wrong? How do I not know what's wrong? I mean there's got to be some reason why I'm so against dating someone and falling in love. Is it Derek? I'm over that, that was a long time ago…in a galaxy far far away. Dammit Esme, it's not that time for that. Nah, there's always time for Star Wars. Always. Okay I seriously need to stop.

"Why?" I said turning off the T.V. Somma turned away from her laptop. "Why don't I know? I know something's not right, but I don't know what or why. I just can't date people for some reason. Even if I want to I just can't."

Somma just looked at me, "well, do you think it has to do with Derek? I mean that's the only guess I have."

"I don't know maybe, that's the only thing I can think of too. I don't get it, that was three years ago. I'm over it."

"I don't know what to tell you dude," Somma sat at the end of the bed. "You know we never did set a time to meet Dan and Phil."

"I don't want to go, I'll just stay here," I laid down on the bed and turned on the T.V.

"What, why?! Dude you can't leave me alone in a hotel room with two hot British guys my age that I've been obsessed with," Somma took the remote from my hand. "On second thought maybe you can."

"See that's what I'm saying," I take the remote back.

"Dude, seriously you have to go, this will be good for you," Somma once again took the remote. "Is this because of the whole date thing? Don't see it as a date see it as four friends hanging out."

I tried to get the remote back, but Somma ran into the bathroom with it and locked herself and the remote in the bathroom. "Somma unlock this door, don't make me do it myself."

I look around the room for something to pick the lock with. "Not until you agree to go with me. Come on Esme, it'll be fun. Like I said it isn't a date, just friends hanging out."

"It's not about that I just don't want to go, I'm too tired."

"Seriously, that's the stupid excuse you use?! If you're going to lie to me at least make it halfway convincing."

"Ugh, dammit Somma, what if I just don't want to go. Besides even if I do go, which I won't, it's going to be super awkward." I look in Somma's purse for something to pick the lock. I know that she brought bobby pins, where could they be? Dammit they're probably in the bathroom.

"Why would it be awkward?"

"Because you and Dan will be all couple like and Phil and I will just be awkward. You said it was a date, what if they think it's a date? That'll be really awkward."

"I'm sure it'll be fine, they probably think I was joking or something. Besides even if it was a date, what's so bad about that? What the worse that could happen?"

"I don't know the apocalypse? I just don't want to go Somma." I look around the room, why don't we have lock pick devices. I stop looking when I see it on the table, my key to victory, Somma's laptop.

"Yeah, well if you don't go, then…then."

"Then what?" I turn the computer on.

"Then think about what will happen to Phil, how he'll feel. If he thinks it's a date, then he'll think you stood him up. And if he doesn't than I think they'll both be sad their new friend didn't show up to hang out with them." Oh I see, now she's going to play the guilt card. Dammit the sad part is is that it's actually working.

"Yeah, well I'm pretty sure they can get over it. I just met Phil yesterday, how hurt can he be?" Shit, her laptop is password protected. Come on Esme, you can figure this out.

"I don't know man, from what I've seen today I think he'll be pretty hurt if you don't show up. I think Phil may have a little crush on you." My hands stop typing, it's completely silent in the room. That's not true, that can't be true. I only met the guy yesterday, he can't like me, he just can't. I don't know, Somma's pretty good with sensing people's emotions, it's like some weird super power. No, she's just trying to get you to go.

I hear Somma's voice from the bathroom again, "I know you're trying to deny it in your head, but you know it's true." Ugh, she know me way to well. What really scares me is not really the fact that he might like me, it's the fact that it doesn't freak me out. The possibility of Phil liking me doesn't make me feel scared.

"You know he likes you, and even though you may not realize it yet you like him too." No, she's wrong, she can't be right. Do I like Phil? I like him as a friend. Stop Esme, this is exactly what she wants you to do. You need to focus and get into her computer.

I try another password on her computer, Brendon071506. Yes, access gained, victory is mine. "Hey, Somma, I'm on your computer."

"What? No you're not, it's password protected."

"Brendon071506," I say as I open her documents. "Give me the remote and let me stay, or else I might have to accidentally send Dan certain documents you've written."

As soon as I said that I heard the bathroom door unlock and Somma came running out here. She grabbed the computer from me and I took the remote. "Alright fine Esme, you won. You can stay here and watch T.V, but I need to get going."

I turned the T.V back on as Somma began to get ready, for her date/friend gathering thing. After a few minutes of getting ready, she pretty much looked the same. I guess she did her makeup and stuff, if she did it wasn't much. But then again I really don't know that much about makeup. Then she left and I was all alone.

After a few minutes I ended up turning the T.V off. I'm bored, and lonely, I guess I should have gone with Somma. Oh well, it's too late now. Why didn't I go? Why was I so insistent on not going? I want to see Dan and Phil, they're my friends, and right now they're probably disappointed that I didn't show. What kind of friend am I? I say I'll go, but then for no good reason I bail.

I wish I knew why I didn't want to go. God, this is so ridiculous! I'm sitting here moping around about how I wish I could be over there. This is why I can't have nice things, because I don't do shit. Well not now, not this time. I get up and walk out of my hotel room and walk around for a bit, lost. Somma is so much better with directions and finding thins than I am.

Eventually I made my way to Dan and Phil's room. I know it's their room because it's their room number, I'm good at numbers not directions. I contemplate on whether I should open the door or not. Maybe I should just go back, they probably hate me.

No Esme, you came here for a reason, you will knock on that door. I raise my hand and knock three times. Why did I do that? Maybe if I turn back now I can make it before they answer. As I turn around I hear the door open.

"Esme, I thought you weren't coming," I know that voice.

"Hey Phil," I turn around to face him. "Yeah well, I changed my mind." He was smiling and he looks so happy, I couldn't help not to smile too.

"Well I'm glad you did, I think we all are. When Somma said you weren't coming we were pretty bummed," then he hugged me. It wasn't a casual hug, more like a hug you'd give to a really close friend. I closed my eyes and smiled, we just stood there hugging for who knows how long. It feels so good to hug him, it's like my previous worries to come here have gone away and I'm just glad I'm here, plus he smiles nice.

"Phil who's at the door and what's taking so long," a voice calls from in the room. Phil and I let go of each other and turn to see Dan. "Oh well, sorry for interrupting," he winks and both of us sigh. "It's nice to see you Esme," he said to me, "I thought you weren't coming?"

Somma walked up behind Dan, "omg Esme?! I knew you would show up, I knew it." She jumped up and down then gave me a really tight hug. We walked into the room, the T.V is on and the computer is open on some editing system.

"Phil's almost done with the editing and we've just been watching reality shows. You can watch with us if you want." Dan and Somma sit on the bed watching television together. His arm's around her and it looks like they're almost snuggling.

Then I see Phil editing away on the computer, he looks so focused. I'd hate to interrupt him, but I'd rather no feel like the third wheel on the Dan and Somma bus. I sit next to him and he starts talking to me, "so I take you don't want to be the third wheel of the S.S Damma."

"What?" I ask confused.

"Sorry, I forgot that you probably don't know about shipping."

"Shipping as in a form of exporting?"

"Sort of," Phil lightly laughed. I turned to look at Dan and Somma watching T.V together. Phil must have noticed because he turned to look at them too. "They're pretty cute together, huh?"

"Yeah I'll say," I turned back to face the computer screen. "So are those two together or not?"

"I have no idea," Phil goes back to editing. "Right now they're definitely acting like they're together. I don't even know if this a date or not."

"So, how much time left until the video is done?" I changed the subject as fast and discretely as I can.

"Um, not much time, I'd say thirty minutes to an hour. You don't have to sit here and watch me edit, it's not going to be that entertaining, trust me."

"Yeah, but I'd rather not watch reality shows with those two," I pointed towards the two friends/lovebirds on one of the beds. "And I've never seen a video being edited before, plus I don't mind spending time with you."

He smiled at me and then continued editing. I faced the computer and I could feel my cheeks turning red. There's just something about that smile that makes me want to die, but in a good way. I sit there watching Phil edit the video, he's so concentrated, it's so adorable. While I watch I see multiple clips of the four of us together, and it makes me feel happy.

Sometime during the editing I must have fallen asleep. "Esme wake up, the video is ready," a voice says and I feel my shoulder being shaken. I open my eyes and at first it's a bit blurry, but then I see YouTube opened and a video processing. It takes a few seconds for me to realize that my head is resting on something. I lift my head and look to my side to see Phil. I was taking a nap with my head on his shoulder, I'm so going to hear about this from Somma.

"So," a smug voice speaks from behind me, "did you have a nice nap Esme?" I don't even need to see her to know who that is. I turn around and see Dan and Somma smirking, I hate them so much.

"Aw look, they're both blushing. Aren't they adorable Somma?" Dan's smirk grows and he messes with Phil's hair.

"Absolutely they are. Just two lovebirds hanging around," Somma pinched my cheek. I tried to bite her hand, "ooh, feisty, you probably want to save that for Phil." Both Dan and I's mouths are wide open in shock, while Phil is just turned from the rest of us.

"Somma's written multiple 'fanfictions' about you guys," I used air quotes when I said fanfiction because that's what Somma likes to call her weird ass stories. "Both straight and gay, and in almost every one of them there's sex."

Now both Dan and Phil are staring bug eyed at Somma. "Uhh, I can explain," she looked from Dan to Phil, "Umm, I uhh…" Then she changed her stare to me, "I will kill you."

I quickly run from the chair as Somma leaps towards it. She chases me around the hotel room while feebly try to escape. She's on one side of the bed while I'm the other and she picks up a pillow and throws it at me. I pick up the pillow and use it as a shield. We're just side jumping left to right seeing what the other will do. "I want to kill you," Somma throws the bible at me.

I pick up the bible and hold it in my other hand, "whoa man, Jesus would be disappointed." I put the pillow down and use the bible as my defense, "so you want to kill me huh."

"Yes I want to kill you."

"I don't think that's really what you want, tell me what you want."

"You want me to tell you what I want?"

I nod, "tell me what you want, what you really really want."

Somma starts to sing, "I'll tell you what I want, what I really really want."

We both jump on the bed and start to dance. "I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna really really really wanna zigazig ha," we sing together. I put the bible down and get a pillow, then we use the pillow as guitars. "If you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends. Make it last forever friendship never ends."

"Friendship never ends," a third person sings from by the computer. Somma and I stop jumping on the bed and stare at Dan. Dan points to Phil, "why are you looking at me? It was him." All three of give the Dan a 'really' look. "What it's a great song? Shut up!"

We all laugh and Somma and I get off the bed. "Well that was fun," Phil looked back at the computer as we stood behind him and Dan. "Oh look, the video's done processing!" We all high five and cheer.

"This is going to be fun," Somma sighed. "I can't wait to hear the fangirls comments."

"Fangirls? I know you've mentioned them before, but what are they exactly?"

Dan, Phil, and Somma all shared a look. Dan spoke first, "you know how something has fans. They support them and get defensive when someone insults or, I guess, wrong their thing they like."

"Yeah, I know what a fan is."

"Well a fangirl is a fan multiplies by like a trillion," Phil picks up. "They are pretty much obsessed. Fangirls can be really nice, but sometimes, when they feel particularly wronged, they can be really really mean."

"Yeah," Somma adds, "and Dan and Phil have fangirls, a lot of them. You think I'm insane, you should see some of the members of the Phandom." I was about to ask what the Phandom was, but Somma must have predicted that. "A fandom is a bunch of fangirls together, like a cult. And pretty much every fandom is absolutely bat shit insane, including theirs," she pointed at Dan and Phil. "Just be prepared little Esme, some of these comments are going to be a bit mean."

"She's right," Phil says, "the Phandom don't usually like it when we're with girls. So if you don't want to read these comments we understand, they can be pretty mean. Especially if you're not used to them."

I looked at the computer screen then to the three of them, "no, I think I'll be fine. After nineteen years of school mean comments don't really phase me."

"Okay then," we preceded to read the comments. The comments said a bunch of different things, but they followed a similar type.

There were the type about how attractive Dan and Phil are. 'Ermahgerd Dan and Phil are sooooo hot, it's so not fair to my ovaries.' 'Ugh I just can't, they're so pretty, my ovaries.' 'Dan's so hot I can't even.' What is it with these peoples obsession with ovaries? And incomplete sentences, can't even what?

Then there were comments about Somma and I. 'Who are these guys?' 'The fuck are these two girls?' 'Wasn't there a rumor about Dan and Phil hanging with a blonde and a black haired girl at the convention center the other day?' 'Omg these are so the girls people at VidCon saw them with.' 'I don't know who these girls are, but I don't like them.' 'Are these their girlfriends? Dan and Phil could do so much better.' 'Ew they better no be dating, Dan is my husband.' 'Ugh I hate the girls. The blonde is annoying and the black haired one is way too quiet, like are you even human?' What a lovely person. Oh look some nice ones, 'hey I think you should stop being mean to them, they are humans.' 'Am I the only one that doesn't hate these two girls? I think they're pretty funny.'

Then there were a lot about this 'Phan' thing. 'Omg Phil made a video with Dan, so much Phan.' 'They're so cute together, Phan 5ever.' 'I hope they're not dating, Phan has to be real.' 'No, they can't be with girls! Phan all the way!' 'Guys calm down, Phan is real, I'm pretty sure these girls aren't going to change that.' 'Wait guys, what if they're lesbians? That means Phan is safe.' 'These girls better not get in the way of Phan, or I will kill them and mount their heads on my wall.' 'If these two get in the way of Phan I will hunt them down.' Wow, these people may want to seek some therapy.

There were also comments about shipping, which makes no sense at all. What does the video have to with shipping, that seems so random? 'Is it bad that I kinda ship them with the girls?' 'Okay guys I love Phan, but I think I may ship Phil and Esme.' 'Don't kill me, but I ship Dan and Somma. Sorry, Phan is still my otp though.' 'I think Phil and Somma like each other.' 'I think Dan and Esme are cute together, but not as cute as Phan.' 'I so ship Dan and Somma, and Phil and Esme.' 'I think I may ship Phil and Somma, and Dan and Esme.' 'I think I ship the girls together, it doesn't get in the way of Phan.' 'Totes ship Phomma.' 'I think I'm on the S.S Desme.' 'Omg Danma is so cute.' 'Phesme is my otp.' 'Phan for life.' 'It's all about Somesme.'

Comment upon comment was like this. I don't get it people say they ship Phil and I. Where do they ship us to? I don't remember being shipped, although knowing these people I could've easily been drugged. And what the fuck is an otp, I see that a lot, and Somma says that quite a bit. She usually says it when she talks about shipping. So I guess maybe overly taxed prices, or over to places? Since when did people care so much about exporting?

After a while of reading comments we finally turned the computer off and sat on the beds. "Well that was interesting," Phil started speaking, "I hope you're not too traumatized Esme. I don't want you to run away from the wonders of the internet because of that. Sorry the comments were a bit harsh, all of those people probably aren't mentally okay."

"Yeah I can tell," I laughed, "I don't think I'm too traumatized from that. At least not enough to give up on my internet adventure."

"Yes success!" the three of them high fived.

"So, do you think you're going to start a channel?" Dan asked me.

"A YouTube channel? I can't have a YouTube channel. I'm still pretty much internet illiterate. You saw those comments, I doubt any of them would be that interested they all just want me to drop dead. And don't you need to edit videos? I definitely can't do that. People only watch interesting videos, I can't make interesting videos."

"Who cares what they think?" Dan said. "You're awesome and definitely worthy of having an amazing channel. And quite a few of them actually liked the two of you," he pointed between Somma and I sitting across from each other. "I'm sure they'd be interested in a channel. Actually some of them even asked if you had one and want you to make one."

"Don't worry about editing," Phil speaks up from beside me, "you'll learn how to edit, bit by bit. It's like learning about the ways of the internet, one step at a time. I can help you edit and teach you, if you want. And don't worry about how interesting your videos will be, I'm sure they'll be great."

"I don't even have a channel," I try to reason.

"Making a channel's easy," Dan starts. "We can make one right now," he points to the computer.

"Uhh, I don't know," I look at the floor. "I've got school and work, I don't have enough time for a channel." I can literally sense Somma rolling her eyes, she absolutely hate that excuse. I know I use it for pretty much everything, but it's like my emergency excuse. When in doubt use school and work to get the fuck out.

"Okay then," Somma threw her arms out, hitting Dan in the face. "Don't make your own channel," I looked at her with a confused expression; Somma never gives up this easily, there has to be something else. "You can share mine with me," and there it is.

"What?" I looked at her like she was mentally unstable.

"Well if you're worried about too much responsibility you don't have time for, then share a channel with me. I'm done with school, it'll be easier with both of us."

"That's a great idea," I turn to look at Dan. "Both of you having the same channel will mean less work. And you two are best friends that live together, it should be a lot of fun."

"Yeah I agree completely," I look at Phil to my side, "sharing a channel will be great. You two can help each other out and have some cool bonding time."

"It's three against one, what do you say Esme," Somma extends her hand to me. I look from Phil, to Dan, to Somma, they're all giving me the stupid puppy dog look.

"Ugh fine," I sigh taking Somma's hand.

They all jumped and high fived, "yes success, again!"

"Yay a point for peer pressure," I said sarcastically.

"Oh whoa," Somma checked the time on her phone, "it's getting pretty late. I hate to end the fun, but we should be heading back." Somma and I gathered our things and stood up. Somma walked to the door and I followed her, but then I turned back.

"Oh wait a second, I have a question for you," I pointed to Phil. "Quite a few people said they 'shipped' us," I used air quotes. "Ship us to where? I don't remember being shipped somewhere."

Phil's face turned a little red, "umm, well when people say they ship people it means something a little different. Ship comes from relationship, when people say they ship two people together it means they want them to be in a relationship."

"Wait, so some people on the internet are saying we should date or something?" I ask confused.

"Um, yeah pretty much," Phil nods and both of us turn a little red.

"What about this 'Phan' thing? What's that? People also wanted us not to date cause it would ruin 'Phan'."

"Well, Phan is the shipping of Dan and I. Meaning people that 'ship' Phan want Dan and me to be together. The 'ph' is from my name Phil and the 'an' is from Dan," he gestured towards Dan. "When you ship people you give them 'ship names' which is their names put together. They don't want us to go out with you guys because it may put a hole in their theory that Dan and me are dating."

"Oh, that's interesting. Are you two together?"

"No, whatever you hear, Phan is not real," Dan spoke.

"I'll keep that in mind," I join Somma at the door. We open the door and bid Dan and Phil farewell once more. That was a lot of fun, I'm glad I went.

"Wait!" We turned around to see Dan and Phil in the hall. Somma and I exchanged a look before meeting them about halfway. "We should trade numbers, in case you ever want to get a hold of us, or want to hang out again."

We all gave each other our numbers. We said bye again, this time in a group hug in the middle of the hallway. We agreed to hang out again tomorrow, then Dan and Phil went back to their hotel room. Somma and I walked back to our room mainly in silence. We said a few words here and there, but mostly we were thinking.

This is so weird I've only known them for like two days, yet I'm closer to them than I am to a lot of people I've known for years. In fact for my entire life I've only had one best friend, and she's crazy. Usually I don't get close to people this nearly fast, and that honestly kind of scares me. Am I getting too close too fast? I've never been this close of friends to someone after two days, not even Somma.

Then there's the fact that I actually agreed to share a YouTube channel with Somma. Damn, I really hate peer pressure. What was I thinking? Why in all things of shitting gravy did I agree to that? It's just that they were all saying things and encouraging me to make a channel, and I guess I just couldn't help but give in.

What about the fact that people 'shipped' Phil and me together, or as they like to call it 'Phesme'. I can't believe it, people I don't know on the internet think we should date, I thought Somma was the only one. People also thought Dan and me or Phil and Somma were cute together, but not as much. Phil and me, and Dan and Somma were way more popular than the vice versa. A lot of people shipped Dan and Phil together, or Phan. Some people even shipped Somma and me, or Somesme. They even argued about it with each other in the comments about whose 'ship' is the best.

All in all, I had a lot of fun tonight. I'm really glad I went, I think I had a lot more fun than I would sitting alone in a hotel room. It was great to see Dan and Phil again, this may be clingy, but I already miss them. I have a really hard time grasping the fact that I met them two days ago, just saw them twenty minutes ago, and already miss them and want to see them again. This has never happened before. It took me a year to be really close to Somma, and we haven't been apart for more than twenty minutes since.

People also seemed to like the idea of Dan and Somma together. To be fair they are pretty damn cute together. Are they considered in a relationship? They seem to act like it, when I came in they were snuggling together on the bed watching reality shows. That seems pretty couple like to me. They also have really nice chemistry, you know how some people just click in that way. I know Somma likes him, she's been obsessed with him for years. I know he likes her too, that's just from watching them together for two minutes. I think they may have been on a date tonight. I don't know if Somma classified this as a date with Dan or just a friend thing. At least they're more likely to go out than Phil and I.

Dan and Somma are practically in a relationship right now, where as I doubt Phil and I will ever be together. I mean Phil's a really great guy, but a relationship is seriously the last thing I'm looking for right now. I doubt he even likes me, and I don't like him in that way either. I wonder if it will be awkward when Dan and Somma are together and Phil and I hang out with them. Of course they'll want to be alone on dates and stuff, but we'll still have our group hang outs. At least I hope so, I really like those. But will they be awkward when half of our group is dating?

If Somma could read my mind she would so be yelling at me right now. She is seriously the number one activists for Phil and me getting together. Why can't she see that we just don't like each other that way? It's weird because Somma is usually really good at reading people's emotions. It's scary, she knows what other people feel even when they don't.

But what if she's right? She said I'd have fun at VidCon, and so far she's right about that. She said I'd have fun hanging out with Dan and Phil, and she was right about that. What if she's right about Phil and me? What if he likes me? I don't know why but when that thought comes into my mind it makes me feel excited and happy. Now that scares me, the fact that Phil liking me makes me happy. That means I probably like him, and I can't like him, I just can't.

Somma and I are now at out hotel room, she opens the door and walks in, and I close it behind us. We lay down on our beds, and don't even look at each other. I think I may actually have feelings for Phil. I close my eyes and tell myself to breathe in and out. I don't even know what's so bad about liking Phil, just that I can't. Calm down Esme, it's okay. I hope this is just an infatuation and nothing deeper.

In a few days I'm not even going to see Phil anymore. In a few days I fly back to D.C and Phil goes back to England with Dan. After VidCon is done I won't see them anymore. They will be thousands of miles away from me in a different country separated by an ocean. It's okay, I'm only going to see him for a few more days, my feelings shouldn't develop that much deeper.

Then it hits me. After Vidcon's over I won't see Dan and Phil again. My friends that I met only two days ago, I won't see them anymore. It's like I just got to know them, then they're leaving. It scares me that they're leaving, what if this is it? I mean there's always a chance that we'll see them again, but an even greater chance that we won't. Dan and Phil have a jobs in the U.K and the only time they'd visit is for radio and YouTube things, which are never in our area. Somma and I have jobs here we can't really visit them there, and we can't go to other YouTube gatherings, this is pretty much a one time thing. It scares me how much I'll miss them. I've just met them, yet them leaving us for good makes me feel empty in a way.

The thought of never seeing Phil again and never seeing Dan again, make me feel different. I can't really describe how they make me feel different, they just do. Not until now I realize just how scared this all makes me. The fact that I'm this close to them and just met them, my possible feelings for Phil, his possible feelings for me, the fact that I may never see them again and that that scares me.

Somma and I turn at the same time and make eye contact. I can see it in her eyes, she's scared too. In a different way than I am, but she is too. I look into her eyes and I know despite all my worries I'll be alright, we'll be alright, all four of us.

**Yes! I have finally finished this 3 chapter part! **


	7. Royal Butt Fucking By Satan

I set up the camera while Esme tries to figure out the lights. Dan and Phil leant us some of their equipment for filming our first video. They're out doing YouTube stuff so Esme and I have to figure out how to use this stuff ourselves. They said it's pretty easy to figure out, but I guess they didn't take in the fact that Esme and I are mentally impaired.

"Whoa that is a bright light," I hear Esme say from behind me.

I turn around, "holy fuck that's a bright light!" I use my hands to shield my eyes from going blind. "Dude turn that off before we can't see anymore," I tell her as I go back to working with the camera. She turns the light off and I move the camera to in front of the bed. "Hey sit on the bed, I wanna see how this looks," I instruct Esme.

"Okay Madame Bossy," Esme moves from behind the light to the bed. Well I guess someone had sassyflakes for breakfast this morning. I adjusted the camera a little then looked up to see Esme laying down on the bed like Rose from Titanic. She flipped her hair made some weird-ass movements with her head, "draw me like one of your French girls."

"Wow man, that's hot," I try to talk through my laughs. "Is this how you get the bitches?"

She starts laughing with me and nods, "oh yeah, this drives the bitches crazy." After a few seconds we stop laughing and I focus the camera, or at least try to. "We still need to come up with an idea," Esme catches my attention and I stop fiddling with the camera.

I look up and see she's still in the same position, "well if you want to stay laid down like that you can, our channel is called metrosexualporn after all. But you're no metrosexual, are you?"

Her mouth opened wide and a gasp came out, "how dare you say that. I'm tired of you stereotyping me. And fyi it's not metrosexual it's being fabulous, not that you would know, hetero." She flipped her hair and did the head movements again.

Now it's my turn to pretend to be offended. I put my hand on my hip, gasp and flip my hair. It doesn't have the same effect as Esme's because her hair is way longer than mine, but that's not the point. "Oh bitch puh-lease," I swat my hand at her. "You're like the straightest hoe ever. I'm revoking your fabulous status," I flipped my hair again.

She raised her eyebrows and moved her head back to look really offended. "Ex-cu-use me," She snapped her fingers in a z formation. "I will a have you know I am the most fabulous motherfucker there is, just ask your mother. And I'll have you know I'm just and ordinary hoe, I am," she stood on the bed and got a blanket and used it as a cape, "Superhoe."

I burst out laughing and nearly fell on the camera, "what the fuck dude, a super hero?"

She pushed out her chest, crossed her arms, and gave me a really serious look, "not just any super hero, the super hero. I am Superhoe, I will use my hoe powers to conquer the world and leave billions to tremble in my hoe dictatorship."

I walked over to get the light and bring it over to where the camera is. "So you're a super villain now?"

Her arms fell, "oh yeah, I'm supposed to be a hero. Okay scratch out what I just said. I'm Superhoe, doer of good. I will use my hoe powers to end world hunger."

I put the light down by the camera and plugged it in. "For the children," I reminded Esme.

"Oh yeah, for the children," she waved her arms like she's Miss America. "One moment I was Superhoe the greatest super hero of all time. The next moment not only was I a super hero, but I was Superhoe, the new Miss America. I am growing stronger, my hoe powers grow by the second. Soon enough I will be able to control all the gardens, nothing will stop me. And in this moment I swear I am invincible, I AM JUSTICE."

She started laughing maniacally and jumped on the bed. I got behind the light and pushed the on button. I heard a scream escape Esme as she fell on the bed, "goddammit Somma, what the fuck? It's so fucking bright." Well there you have it folks, the defeat of Superhoe, maybe she was a vampire.

"And in this moment I swear you're an idiot," I moved the light back a little and adjusted the camera again. "And you're no Justice, unless you get your name changed, but that costs money."

I change the focus and zoom in and out for a while until it looks like I almost know what I'm doing. After playing with the camera I see Esme still sprawled out on the bed, "dude get up, we've got to film."

Esme groaned and sat up. I sat next to her and we did more camera and light adjusting for a few minutes. We got it to the point where it looks somewhat presentable, and that's what we're going for, too high quality and they start expecting things from you.

"We still don't have a video idea."

"Why don't we just roll the camera and see what happens, I'm sure we'll find something to talk about."

"Yeah, alright."

I turn the camera on and we start filming. Esme and I look at each other, wondering who's going to start. I sigh and start talking, yay our first cut. "Hello to any one that may be watching this, my name's Somma."

"And I'm Esme."

"And together we're Metrosexualporn," we said together, moving our arms and doing jazz hands.

"You guys may know us from the video we did with our friends Dan and Phil. We'll put a link in the video or the description, if we figure out how to," I pointed to an area by me and below me.

Esme looked at me weirdly, "um dude why are you pointing to your vagina? I thought I was the Superhoe."

"Because that's where the link may go," I told her.

"In your vagina?" her eyes got wider and her voice rose. "Now I really don't get this YouTube thing."

I sighed and rolled my eyes, "no Esme you moronic perv, the comments do not go in my vagina, they go in my anus."

"Oh," she looked like I just told her the secrets of the Universe, "well that explains it, it makes so much sense now." Then she looked at the camera, "if you're internet unaware like me, we're here to help you. You can call 1-800-Fartknuckles now to purchase a giant bag of shit for only $19.99, plus $1000 shipping and handling."

"Shipping? As in internet shipping?"

"Oh yes Somma, here at the metrosexualporn channel we're very professional and internet savvy. For only $500 we'll ship you with a giant bag of shit. We'll even come up with a ship name for you."

"And for only another $1000000 we'll write you a fanfiction about you and the bag of shit. We can even write smut," I winked at the camera.

"Remember what you learned from this video kids…"

I cut her off, "and remember who you are, always." Esme gave me the 'wtf dude' look and I just signaled for her to keep going.

"Right," she said to me. Then she went back to talking to the camera, "remember that comments go in your anus."

"Just like a penis during anal," I added.

"Don't forget the lube kids," Esme ended our commercial like thing. I stopped the video then sat back down by Esme.

"Okay I've got some questions for you," she turned to me. "What exactly is fanfiction?"

"Um well, fanfiction is fiction written by fans. For example, you know how Harry Potter was written by J.K Rowling?" She nodded a yes. "Well, anything written about Harry Potter not by J.K Rowling is called fanfiction. It's anything written about a set of characters not by the original author. There's fanfictions about practically anything, movies, T.V. shows, books."

"I think I get it. So the stuff you write about Dan and Phil, is that fanfiction? Do other people write fanfiction? What are they about, are they just stories?"

"Yeah, those are considered fanfiction. See I don't own Dan and Phil, or at least not yet, so I'm not the original author. What I write isn't real in the universe Dan and Phil are set in. Tons of people write fanfiction, it's pretty big on the internet. Fanfiction is mostly about shipping, they're basically stories about romantic shit people wish would happen."

I turn the camera back on, "come on Esme, we've got to finish this video so we can edit. We have a lot of censoring to do."

We filmed for about another twenty minutes talking about random things we thought about. The video was kind of like an introduction, except not really. I don't know exactly what we filmed, but I know we have a lot of editing to do, and that'll mainly be censoring.

After we finished filming we got the video on the computer and opened the editing system Dan and Phil told us about. Then I moved the mouse around and clicked random things. "Do you have any idea of what you're doing?" Esme looks from my hand to my face to the computer.

"No, not at all. Do you know how to do this?" I let go of the mouse and rest my head on my hand, giving up on editing.

"Pshh yeah of course. I obviously know everything about video editing, especially considering my vast and endless knowledge about the internet," she rolled her eyes at me. I rolled my eyes back, I'm so done with your sarcastic shit Esme.

Now we're just sitting here, not doing anything, just sitting and breathing. We are so productive. Before they left, Dan and Phil told us some stuff about how to use the editing program. And of course we barely understood anything, and anything we did we forgot.

Esme and I are on the verge of falling asleep, when suddenly the hotel room opens. "Yo yo, how's it go? My home bros, that are actually girls." I definitely know who that voice belongs to. I smile as I feel Dan's hand on my shoulder.

"You're not a black Asian Dan," I reminded him as I turn to face him. I see him smiling down at me. His eyes are so awesome, his smile is so awesome, his hair is so awesome, he's so awesome. We just stare at each other for a few seconds and smile, I'm sure we look really creepy.

I look over and see Phil and Esme next to us, staring at us. At least Dan and I won't be the creepy ones with those two around. They're smiling at us and they won't stop, it's really scaring me. I look at the top of the chair and see his hand on hers. OMG, Esme is currently having actual physical contact with someone of the male gender of the homo sapien species, and she's not flipping her mother fucking shit. I hope the Phandom is wrong, that bitch better not be gay. My otp has to happen, even if Phil and Esme don't want to, they're going to get married. I don't care if they're both gay, it's going to happen. Just look at them, they're so in love, I can't wait until the wedding. Like srsly I can't wait, I'm not a very patient person.

"Hey guys," Esme snapped her fingers and I fell out of my thoughts. "Are you two alright, you've just been staring at each other for the past six minutes?"

"Yeah," Phil continued, "it's really rather creepy. Seriously guys if you want you can shake hands, or hug, or kiss, it won't be awkward. We won't watch."

Esme nodded, "or have sex. But I'd probably watch that." Phil nodded in agreement. Aww that's so cute, they're agreeing to watch Dan and I have sex. Dan and I should have sex. I look up and down his body, Dan and I should really have sex.

I glance at his face and we both smile. Then he offers me his hand, and I shake it. A handshake, really? Lame. Apparently Esme and I are on the same wavelength about this. "Wow a handshake, that's hot. I could literally get more action from my grandma, and she's eighty. At least hug or something, you don't have to do a full prono, yet."

Dan rolled his eyes and extended his arms out to me. I smiled as I got up from my chair and gave him a hug. I think this is the first time I've hugged him. It feels nice and awkward, nikward. Damn, he really smells nice. I close my eyes and we kinda sway while we hug. I love the feeling of his arms around mine, I could definitely get used to it.

After a little while we stopped hugging, and went back to just staring at each other. Yes, we are making progress here. I look to my side and see Phil and Esme staring at us, smirking. Great, I'm sure I'll hear all about this from Esme later. "Wow, that was a pretty nice, long hug," Phil stated, crossing his arms.

"Yeah," Esme continued, "so, when's the marriage? When are the kids coming along?"

"Oh shut up you crack whore," I say to Esme. "It's never going to happen, because I'm like so totes busy with school and work, I just don't have time for a relationship. Even though my amazing best friend did, I guess I'm just not as awesome as her." I crossed my arms and gave her a smug look, two can play at the game.

"Oh you wanna tango cum slut, let's go Vionity," Esme pushed out her chest and did what I'm guessing is supposed to be gang signs. "Oh my god, look Phil," she pointed at Dan and I. "Look how close they are, I bet they want to fuck each other."

My eyes probably go two times bigger and my face got a whole lot redder, I turned slightly so I could see Dan, and he's pretty much the same. "You did not just do that, it is on Anemar. Unlike your dead as hell love life due to um, work," all three of them gasped. I snapped my finger in a z formation, "bazam motherfuckers."

"Oh now it's on." Esme then turned to Phil, "oh my god are you AmazingPhil?" She said in a really high pitched voice and started jumping up and down in front of him. "Like zomg, I've been obsessed with you for a long time," she went all fangirl mode on him, even touching his arm and crap.

Zomg, Esme's actually touching a guy and not freaking out, and he's blushing. Eeep, this is so a sign they're getting married. God, if Esme could hear she would no doubt whack me on the head with a hammer. I know she's completely mocking me right now, but I don't even care, my ship is one more step towards sailing.

I snap out of my thought bubble. "Did you know I've written fanfictions about you and your best friend," she pointed to Dan, "having hot, sexy, anal."

Dan and Phil look at me, while I just look at Esme, shaking my head. "Actually I think they already did know that, but thanks for mentioning it again." My arms go by my sides, "alright fine, you win this round green eyes. But you haven't won the war."

Esme gave me a devious smile, "we'll see about that brown eyes." Then we bowed and did our top secret handshake that changes every time because we always forget it. I may have seceded the battle to Esme, but I'm the true winner. I actually got her to touch a guy, now if only it was a bit lower.

"Well that was entertaining," Phil spoke up. Oh my god, Phil. I was getting all caught up in my duel with Esme I didn't give him a hug. I hugged Phil, Esme hugged Dan, it was a nice hugging time. Then Dan hugged Phil and I hugged Esme, cause why the fuck not. After that Phil and Esme hugged. Yes, a hug! It may be moving by inches, but my ship is going to get there.

"So, have you guys started editing the video yet?" Dan asked.

Esme and I looked at each other, then back to them. "Well we sorta did," Esme shrugged her shoulders, "kinda, not really, we did nothing but sit here."

"Yeah, you didn't tell us we would actually need to know two shits about what we're doing," I said sitting down in one of the chairs.

"Really, cause I think the one shit I know has gotten me pretty far," Dan laughed as he sat next to me.

We both turned around and looked at Phil and Esme expectantly. Apparently they get the hint, because they're both backing up and moving towards the door.

"Um, we're out of milk."

"I'll go with you to the store and help you get some." The door closed behind them. Now Dan and I are in a hotel room, just the two of us. This should be pretty interesting.

"I bet they'll help each other get some alright," I say as I turn the computer on.

Dan laughs next to me, his laugh is so amazing. "Oh my god, what even are those two? It's like they're together but not at the same time."

I open the editing program, "I don't even know. Esme is so what even in the actual fuck with her emotions, it's practically impossible to tell. They sure are cute together though."

Dan takes the mouse and starts doing some stuff, I think it's called editing. "Yeah, they make a nice couple. I think Phil's a little that way with his emotions too, but I don't think it's as much as Esme. I know I don't really know her that well, but she seems like a rather closed book kind of person."

"Oh yeah she is. Hearing Esme talk about her emotions is like seeing a unicorn, that shit doesn't happen. Her emotions are sealed tight in a chest deep in the underground with fingerprint and retina scanning device, while the key is on the forest moon of Endor. Me on the other hand, I'm the exact opposite. I don't just wear my heart on my sleeve, it's like on a gigantic billboard that encompasses the entire fucking Earth in big, bolded, italicized, text, with blinking lights and everything."

"Wow, seems like you two are very different people."

"Oh trust me, we are pretty much opposites."

"That's interesting. I don't want to be rude, but how or why are you two friends."

"Well it all started when I moved to Virginia at the beginning of freshman year. You know the stories about the new that's not popular, but then makes a friend?" Dan nodded. "Well, it's pretty much the opposite of that. I had a ton of friends by the second the week of school. Then one day I noticed this really quiet girl in the back of the room, so I decided to talk to her. Then we became friends and we did friend stuff like sleepovers, although I don't think I've ever seen Esme's house. But yeah, we ended up going to the same university and decided to get an apartment together. Then we coincidently got jobs at the same place. So I guess the answer to your question is that our differences help balance each other out."

"Oh wow that's so cool. Do you guys go to school in Virginia? What jobs do you have? What are you getting your degrees in? Sorry I have so many questions, I'm just so fascinated."

"Oh trust me it's no problem. We don't go to school in Virginia, our college is in D.C. which is just north of the state. It's weird because before I moved to Virginia I lived in a really rural place in Ohio. Then in Virginia, I lived in the suburbs. Now, I guess I'm a city girl." I look at him briefly before I go back to looking at the computer.

"We work for a newspaper company, 'The D.C. Daily," I did the rainbow motion with my hands. "I write articles and Esme edits them, it's not the most exciting job, but it's definitely better than some. It actually pays pretty decently. I think Esme must make quite a bit more than I do, because if we make around the same amount I doubt we would be able to afford all of our crap."

"I actually just graduated, I have a bachelors in biology and a masters in psychology. And Esme's still in school, she's actually working on a doctorate in like some weird physics and engineering thing."

"Whoa, a PhD? That's pretty damn impressive, so I guess she wants to be an engineer huh?"

I tilted my head, thinking. "Actually I don't think she does. Esme's a rather complicated person. I don't think she really knows what she wants to do in life, I know she likes physics, but I don't really know where the engineering thing came from. I guess it's like you and law, just getting a degree to have one."

"Yeah maybe," Dan looked down for a few seconds before looking at me. "It's so weird, me getting a law degree. I doubt I could be that good of a lawyer," he chuckled a bit. "I was getting the degree, but I didn't really think much ahead of that. I mean, what was I going to do with? Become a lawyer? I don't really see that happening. Thank God for YouTube."

"So how about you?" he asked. "Degrees in biology and psychology, that's an interesting mix. What do you plan on doing? I mean, a masters is pretty amazing."

"Yeah well not amazing enough, you usually need a PhD to be able to do much in psychology. I would get one, but I can't afford to. Plus getting a doctorates," I shook my head, "I don't really think I'm up for that. I honestly don't know what I'm doing or want to do. I've been looking for a job, but my degrees don't really mix that well and neither of them seem to be what anyone wants. Right now I just have the newspaper, but that can't support me for much longer."

"I think pretty much everyone feels that way at this age. Hell even I do, I know I have YouTube and the radio, but that's probably not going to last for the rest of my life. And I don't have a degree to fall back on. Even if I wanted to get one, I have absolutely no idea what I'd get it in, there's no way in hell I'm dong law again."

Dan and I talked a little more about various crap. He talked me through editing, and I actually leaned quite a bit. I just I'll remember so I can tell Esme. It was so fascinating watching him edit, just the way his eyes looked when he was focused was so intriguing.

"So is all of that true?" Dan asked me looking towards me instead of the computer.

"All of what?"

"What Esme says, you know the obsession and fangirling, shipping, the fanfiction?" I looked into his eyes and noticed they had a sort of devious glint to them.

"What? No, of course not. Okay maybe a tiny bit. Alright fine it's pretty much all true. I think the fangirling should be no surprise to you, seeing as how our first encounter went. And yes I did write phanfictions, both gay and straight."

"Oh my god, I've got to find those," Dan sad while laughing.

My eyes widen and my heart beat races, "no, oh god no. I need to burn those documents."

Dan laughed even harder, "oh my god this is hilarious. So do you really ship Phesme as much as you claim to?"

"Oh yeah I do, in fact I would go on a limb here and say I ship it even harder than I claim to. Even before they met I shipped them. I would watch Phil's videos and say 'him and Esme would make an awesome couple.' Then they met and it's like an otp come true."

Dan started editing again, "yeah, I'll admit, they make a pretty killer couple. And they seem to really like each other. I don't know about her, but Phil loves to talk about Esme. Like as in he won't shut the fuck up about her."

The biggest smile appeared on my face after he said that, "oh my god are you serious?" He nodded and I literally squealed. "Oh my god this is so amazing, my otp is going to happen. I already knew it was going to happen, but now it's so much realer. Yet in a way, more surreal."

Dan laughed again, his laugh is so amazing, I could listen to it all day. "Well I'm very happy for you, an otp come true is actually quite rare, so congratulations."

Towards the end of editing the video Dan let me have control of the mouse while he directed what I did. We weren't very productive because we kept having little conversations and laughing. It's been about two and a half hours since we started. We probably could've had the video edited an hour ago. There really wasn't that much editing to do, just jump cuts and censoring. We didn't do anything fancy cause after this Esme and I would have to edit the videos by ourselves and it would set the bar way to high.

It was pretty quiet for a while, I was actually starting to get the hang of this so Dan didn't really have to instruct as much. I was busy editing and I guess he was just thinking or something.

"You know this may be weird to say," Dan spoke up breaking the silence. "I actually have no idea why I'm telling you this. I'm actually bit jealous of Phil."

I tore my away from the computer and editing to look at him, "really?"

"Yeah, it's quite weird really. I mean Phil has a degree in linguistics, while I have nothing. He has security net under him and I don't have one. Before this whole YouTube thing, I used to be really insecure. And I still get that way sometimes, even with all of my fans. In fact I would be a total wreck without them and Phil. He seems so much more sure of himself than I am. Like if YouTube never happened I couldn't survive and he could, he would be alight."

"I think it's natural to feel that way. Jealousy is an emotion we all have, and it's very easy to be jealous of someone, especially if they're our best friend. No matter how green your grass is, your neighbors grass is going to be that little bit greener."

I go back to looking at the computer screen, "I feel the same way too, and this may be the psychology degree speaking, but I bet Phil and Esme do too. We all have insecurities. I mean sometimes I get a little jealous of Esme's ability to be so to herself. I'm always so loud and open, while she's so not. It takes a while for her to really trust people, me on the other hand all you have to do is say 'hi'. And at least Esme can apply her degree to something, she could become an engineer. I don't know if that's what she wants, but at least she can do something with her education. I mean, psychology and biology? What in the actual fuck am I going to do with that?"

I finish editing the video and look back at Dan, "sorry for the rant. My point is we all kind of feel that way. If you want to you could talk to Phil about it, or you can just take comfort in the fact that he's probably jealous of you in some way as well."

"Oh trust me ranting is no problem, we all need to rant once on while," Dan leaned back in his chair and looked up to the ceiling. "Thanks, I actually feel a bit better now. It's weird, you're so easy to talk to, like a really close friend I've known for years. I don't normally attach to people this quickly, it's strange."

I smile and look up to the ceiling too, "thanks, I could say the same about you. I actually attach to people rather quickly. But I feel even more so with you, it really is like I've known you for years."

"I'm really going to miss you," we both said it at the same time. After that neither of talked. That's when it really hit for me, I know it's going to happen. This is last day we have together, tomorrow Esme and I leave for Virginia. I've pondered about it before, but this is the first time I've actually really thought about it. This is the first time I realize I may never seem either of them again. We could call but international calls are expensive as crap, we could Skype and stuff, but we'd never see each other in the flesh. Esme and I can't go to YouTube events, we can't even pay for this one. We can't really visit each other, we have jobs in different countries. We're too busy to visit, and besides Esme and I can't really afford to visit England anyways. So this may really be it.

"So," Dan broke the silence, "you wanna watch the video? Make sure everything's alright?"

"Yeah." I clicked the button and the video played. We laughed so much my sides started to hurt. What the fuck even is this video, it would definitely make an interesting one. After the video was done we decided it was okay and ready to upload. I said that Esme and I would upload it later, so we just decided to chill until Esme and Phil were done 'buying milk,' or whatever they were doing.

We were sitting on the bed watching T.V. His arm was around me and my head was against his shoulder. Earlier we were talking about how we didn't know if Phil and Esme were a thing. But what about us? What are we? Does it really matter, we may never see each other again? But I have to find out.

"Dan?" He turned to look at me, "what are we? I know I like you, I pretty sure you know I like you. Do you like me? I know we can't really date or anything because of the whole, we may never see each other thing, but I just have to know."

"Wait," he turned off the T.V. "you like me? As in actually like me?"

"Well yeah, I thought that was pretty damn obvious. I fangirled over you when we first met."

"Yeah, but that's fangirl liking, it's different than actually liking. So you seriously like me?"

I nodded. He got up and ran his hands through his hair, "I can't believe it, this is so not fair. This beautiful girl comes into my life, captivates my heart, then leaves and may never return. This is the final sign that God hates me. Right now Satan is royaling fucking my butt, and he is not using lube. I hate this."

I laughed a little over how dramatic he is. "Wait so you feel the same way?" I got up from the bed and stood by him. "What the fuck, what in the actual fuck? Why does this happen to me? I finally meet the guy I've like for years, and it turns out he feels the same. What can get in the way? Oh nothing but a fucking ocean."

We both laughed a little at our pain and just stood there for few minutes. About three minutes later, the door opened and Phil and Esme walked into the room. "Hey did you guys get the video done?" Esme asked.

"Yeah, it's all edited," I answered her. "I said we'll upload it later, if that's alright with you."

"Yeah it's fine."

"So what did you guys do for almost three hours?" Dan winked at them.

They both rolled their eyes. "Nothing you're thinking of," Phil said, scolding Dan. "We just walked around. We've been to every corner of the hotel and even around the area a little, talking about different things. We even got milk." Phil held up a carton of milk, showing it to us like it was some glamorous prize.

We hung out for a little bit and watched reality television and talked about stupid things. I never really knew how much I would miss the four of us hanging out until now. It's like we became a weird family of sorts almost. After about two hours of talking and hanging it, it was time Esme and I left. It was pretty late and we have a pretty early flight tomorrow. We needed to upload the video anyways.

Before we left everyone hugged each other and then we did a big group hug. I don't know about the other three, but I could actually almost cry. We all said our goodbyes, then Esme and I left the room.


End file.
